“Are you crazy?” Ben said. “You want $500 for a pair of flip-up clip-ons? That’s outrageous.”
“My friend, these are not just any clip-ons,” the man behind the counter said. “These are one-of-a-kind, unique, very special.”
“Yeah, right,” Ben said. “You think I’m going to fall for your rose-colored glasses shtick? Look through these and I’ll be cheerful and optimistic and will see the world in a whole, new, wonderful way, right? Listen, buddy, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck.”
“Oh no, my friend, these clip-ons don’t merely change your perspective or alter your outlook,” the man said, “They bring everything you look at into crystal clear focus. They remove the fog of deception and reveal the truth.”
“Hey, truth is subjective,” Ben said. “I have my truth and you have your truth, and the truth is that I ain’t giving you 500 smackeroos to see bullshit.”
“But wait, my friend, there’s more,” the man said. “With these clip-ons, you will have x-ray vision. You can see right through objects, like doors and walls.”
“Well that sounds interesting, sure,” Ben said, “but it’s still not worth 500 bucks. I’ll give you 100 for them.”
“My friend, I cannot discount these clip-ons,” the man said, “but perhaps there is another feature of them that might sway you to pay my price.” The man snapped his fingers and a stunning redhead came out from the back of the store. “This is my assistant, Lola.”
Ben smiled, shook Lola’s hand, turned back to the man. “If you bundle the clip-ons and Lola together, we have a deal,” he said in jest.
The man looked at Ben and said, “My friend, I cannot sell my Lola to you. She’s my assistant and she’s not for sale. But I do invite you to put the clip-ons over your own glasses and then look at the beautiful Lola. When you do, you will see the truth I was telling you about.”
Ben thought for a moment. Maybe, if these clip-ons actually do enable x-ray vision, I’ll be able to see through Lola’s clothing and see her naked body. That might make these things worth the price. “Okay, I’ll give them a try.”
The man asked Ben to give him his glasses, to which he affixed the clip-ons. “I will put these on your head,” the man said, “but you must keep your eyes closed until I turn you around to face Lola. Then you may open your eyes and you will see the truth.”
“Fine,” Ben said, eager to get a glimpse at Lola’s voluptuous body. “Let’s just get this over with.”
The man gently placed the glasses with the clip-ons on Ben’s head, grabbed Ben by the shoulders, and slowly turned him 180 degrees so that he would be facing Lola. “You may open your eyes now,” he said to Ben.
Ben opened his eyes and looked directly at Lola. And then he started screaming in horror.
Written for Sadje’s What Do You See? prompt. Photo credit: Tathanhtaun @ Pixabay.