Fibbing Friday — Nursery Crimes

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Di’s turn and she wants to know…

1. What did Miss Muffett sit on?

Wee Willie Winkie’s face.

2. Who tried to gatecrash her dinner?

The big, bad wolf.

3. What did Wee Willie Winkie do?

Immensely enjoyed his evening with Miss Muffett.

4. How many blackbirds were baked in a pie?

None. There were 24 blackberries baked in that pie. But Miss Muffett forgot to take it out of the oven in time and so badly burned it that Wee Willie, who would eat just about anything, refused to eat it, so Miss Muffitt put it on her tuffet, which was on her back porch, when a bunch of itsy bitsy spiders crawled down the water spout and over to the tuffet and got into the pie, and then a few black crows flew down and feasted on the burnt, spider-infested pie and immediately died. It was a sad day for all involved.

5. Who sold sea shells on the sea shore?

Peter Piper.

6. What did Peter Piper pick?

Sea shells.

7. What ran up the clock?

The second hand.

8. What was daddy going to wrap Baby Bunting in?

Her head in aluminum foil.

9. Where did Doctor Foster go?

To rescue Baby Bunting from her crazy father.

10. What was the old man doing when it was pouring with rain?

He was screaming at Dorothy, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!! You cursed brat! Look what you’ve done!! I’m melting, melting.”

20 thoughts on “Fibbing Friday — Nursery Crimes

  1. Sadje January 21, 2022 / 9:20 am

    Great mishmash of all the nursery rhymes.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Melanie B Cee January 21, 2022 / 11:01 am

    🤣 OM GOSH! Hahahahahhahahha!!! I’m not complaining mind you, but didn’t that first answer sort of violate the ‘family friendly’ credo FF has? Lordie. I’m going to chuckle all day about the saga of Little Miss Muffet and her make-do ‘tuffet’. Hahahahhahah. 😂😅😆🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango January 21, 2022 / 2:32 pm

      What can be more family friendly that nursery rhyme characters? 😉


    • Fandango January 21, 2022 / 2:32 pm

      Indeed he was.


  3. donmatthewspoetry January 21, 2022 / 8:21 pm

    I will pay closer attention to the second hand in future. A good observation on Fan. Having run up it then runs down. Then repeats this futile exercise ad infinitum. Seriously, a clever answer…….

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango January 21, 2022 / 10:26 pm

      Thanks. Every so often I can be clever.


  4. leigha66 January 23, 2022 / 4:21 pm

    I laughed at number four… great answers overall Fandango!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Marleen January 23, 2022 / 4:36 pm

    Nursery Cryme — Genesis

    Steve Hackett
    and Phil Collins
    are, here, new to
    the band. This, the
    third album ( 1971 ),
    comes after the 1969
    (Genesis to Revelation)
    1st album and 1970 2nd
    (Trespass). The previous
    guitarist and drummer?
    They have disappeared.

    Liked by 1 person

      • Marleen January 23, 2022 / 9:31 pm

        This guy got on my good side, a few years ago, with his enthusiasm for a particular album by a different progressive set of musicians (Relayer — by Yes). But that’s beside the point. Although he played music from that one, he doesn’t play any here. The first song really gives a sense of the nursery crime aspect in some fairy tales. I can appreciate looking at an old fashioned album cover, though.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Marleen January 25, 2022 / 10:46 am Genesis – Supper’s Ready (lyrics)

    From 11:05 — what I have put into boldface speaks to me of nursery crimes and rhymes. And something (literary device) that can be enjoyed but also can be used as abuse or gaslighting.

    Walking across the sitting-room, I turn the television off. Sitting beside you, I look into your eyes. As the sound of motor cars fades in the night time, I swear I saw your face change, it didn’t seem quite right. …And it’s hello babe with your guardian eyes so blue Hey my baby don’t you know our love is true. Coming closer with our eyes, a distance falls around our bodies. Out in the garden, the moon seems very bright, Six saintly shrouded men move across the lawn slowly. The seventh walks in front with a cross held high in hand. …And it’s hey babe your supper’s waiting for you. Hey my baby, don’t you know our love is true. I’ve been so far from here, Far from your warm arms. It’s good to feel you again, It’s been a long long time. Hasn’t it?

    [The Guaranteed Eternal Sanctuary Man]

    I know a farmer who looks after the farm. With water clear, he cares for all his harvest. I know a fireman who looks after the fire. You, can’t you see he’s fooled you all. Yes, he’s here again, can’t you see he’s fooled you all. Share his peace, Sign the lease. He’s a supersonic scientist, He’s the guaranteed eternal sanctuary man. Look, look into my mouth he cries, And all the children lost down many paths, I bet my life you’ll walk inside Hand in hand, gland in gland With a spoonful of miracle, He’s the guaranteed eternal sanctuary. We will rock you, rock you little snake, We will keep you snug and warm.

    [Ikhnaton And Itsacon And Their Band Of Merry Men]

    Wearing feelings on our faces while our faces took a rest, We walked across the fields to see the children of the West, But we saw a host of dark skinned warriors standing still below the ground, Waiting for battle. The fight’s begun, they’ve been released. Killing foe for peace…bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang, bang… And they’re giving me a wonderful potion, ‘Cos I cannot contain my emotion. And even though I’m feeling good, Something tells me I’d better activate my prayer capsule. Today’s a day to celebrate, the foe have met their fate. The order for rejoicing and dancing has come from our warlord.

    [How Dare I Be So Beautiful?]

    Wandering through the chaos the battle has left, We climb up a mountain of human flesh, To a plateau of green grass, and green trees full of life. A young figure sits still by a pool, He’s been stamped “Human Bacon” by some butchery tool. (He is you) Social Security took care of this lad. We watch in reverence, as Narcissus is turned to a flower. A flower?

    [Willow Farm]

    If you go down to Willow Farm,
    to look for butterflies,
    Open your eyes,
    it’s full of surprise, everyone lies,
    like the fox on the rocks, and the musical box.
    Oh, there’s Mum & Dad, and good and bad,
    and everyone’s happy to be here.

    There’s Winston Churchill
    dressed in drag,
    he used to be
    a British flag,
    plastic bag,
    what a drag.

    The frog was a prince,
    the prince was a brick,
    the brick was an egg,
    the egg was a bird.

    (Fly away you sweet little thing,
    they’re hard on your tail)
    Hadn’t you heard?
    (They’re going to change you into a human being!)
    Yes, we’re happy as fish and gorgeous as geese, and wonderfully clean in the morning.

    We’ve got everything, we’re growing everything, We’ve got some in We’ve got some out We’ve got some wild things floating about Everyone, we’re changing everyone, you name them all, We’ve had them here, And the real stars are still to appear. ALL CHANGE! Feel your body melt; Mum to mud to mad to dad Dad diddley office, Dad diddley office, You’re all full of ball. Dad to dam to dum to mum Mum diddley washing, Mum diddley washing, You’re all full of ball. Let me hear you lies, we’re living this up to the eyes. Ooee-ooee-ooee-oowaa Momma I want you now. And as you listen to my voice To look for hidden doors, tidy floors, more applause. You’ve been here all the time, Like it or not, like what you got, You’re under the soil (the soil, the soil), Yes, deep in the soil (the soil, the soil, the soil, the soil!). So we’ll end with a whistle and end with a bang and all of us fit in our places.

    [Apocalypse In 9/8 (Co-Starring the delicious talents of Gabble Ratchet)]

    With the guards of Magog, swarming around, The Pied Piper takes his children underground. Dragons coming out of the sea, Shimmering silver head of wisdom looking at me. He brings down the fire from the skies, You can tell he’s doing well by the look in human eyes. Better not compromise. It won’t be easy. 666 is no longer alone, He’s getting out the marrow in your back bone, And the seven trumpets blowing sweet rock and roll, Gonna blow right down inside your soul. Pythagoras with the looking glass reflects the full moon, In blood, he’s writing the lyrics of a brand new tune. And it’s hey babe, with your guardian eyes so blue, Hey my baby, don’t you know our love is true, I’ve been so far from here, Far from your loving arms, Now I’m back again, and babe it’s gonna work out fine.

    [As Sure As Eggs Is Eggs (Aching Men’s Feet)]

    Can’t you feel our souls ignite Shedding ever changing colours, in the darkness of the fading night, Like the river joins the ocean, as the germ in a seed grows We have finally been freed to get back home. There’s an angel standing in the sun, and he’s crying with a loud voice, “This is the supper of the mighty one”, Lord of Lords, King of Kings, Has returned to lead his children home, To take them to the new Jerusalem.

    Liked by 1 person

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