Fibbing Friday — On the Links

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and he wants to know…

1. What is an Arnold Palmer?

One half of golf pro bookends, the other half being Jack Nicklaus.

2. What is a niblick?

It’s a Popsicle-like brand of frozen, flavored ice sticks.

3. What is a mashie?

It’s a type of potato grown specifically for mashing.

4. What’s the difference between a hook and a slice?

A hook is used to hang things on. A slice is a thin piece of something, like a hunk of cheese or a loaf of bread.

5. What name is given to a single hole score of three under par?

A triple crown.

6. What’s a bogey?

A nickname for a big, scary, nightmarish creature called a bogeyman.

7. What’s the difference between a regular golf course and an executive golf course?

The latter charges much more for a membership and often excludes memberships for anyone who is not white and Christian.

8. What unique award is given to the winner of the Masters Tournament?

A Master’s Degree.

9. Why do golf balls have dimples?

To give them more sex appeal.

10. What is the 19th hole?

It’s the hole following the 18th and preceding the 20th. Duh!

Badly Broken

A 17 year old boy, Kyle Rittenhouse, from Illinois, crosses state lines and arms himself with an AR-15 semiautomatic weapon. When he arrives in Kenosha, Wisconsin last summer during anti-racism protests over police violence against black people, he shoots and kills two men and injures another.

After the shooting, Rittenhouse was apprehended and arrested by police. He was charged with first-degree intentional homicide, first-degree reckless homicide, attempted first-degree intentional homicide and two first-degree recklessly endangering safety counts. He pleaded not guilty by reason of self-defense.

In a trial that has become a flashpoint in the debate over guns, vigilantism, and racial injustice in the U.S., the predominantly white jury acquitted Rittenhouse of all charges.

How can it be that a white kid who goes out of his way to go to an anti-racist protest armed with an assault rifle and kills two people and injures a third be found not guilty? Why else would he take an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle to that protest if not to shoot people?

Can you imagine what the verdict would have been if Kyle Rittenhouse had been a 17-year old black kid?

The American justice system is badly broken.

Friday Fictioneers — Chop Some Wood

It’s not like I don’t have other stuff to do today. And it’s not my fault that it’s supposed to get colder this week. But does anybody care? My old man just hands me the ax and tells me to go chop some firewood logs.

Fine. I’ll do it, but I’m going to damn well make sure that I chop enough firewood to last us through the whole damn winter. I’ll fill up that entire log rack if I have to. But I won’t block the basement window. Dad got pissed when I did that last time.

(97 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: Dale Rogerson.

One Minute Fiction — I Hate This Time of Year

We have a huge backyard with lots of big, old trees and at this time of year, our yard is covered with a thick layer of fallen leaves.

My mom wants me to rake up and bag all of the leaves this weekend because she’s having the whole extended family over for Thanksgiving on Thursday and insists that our yard has to look clean and neat for all of the cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Like anyone besides her really cares about the damn leaves. You know what I’m saying?

Of course it’s been raining most of this past week, which makes raking and bagging all those wet, heavy leaves even more of a pain in the ass than when they’re dry. But she’s not giving me a choice.

I hate this time of year.

Written for Cyranny’s One Minute Fiction prompt. Photo credit: Cyranny.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — November 19th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 19th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted eleven years ago today, on November 19, 2010, on my old blog.

White Pages Going Dark?

Some people in New Haven, Connecticut are not happy that regulators in many states are granting telephone companies permission to stop publishing those once ubiquitous White Pages phone books.

It seems that the thick book chock full of residential names, addresses, and phone numbers — those of your neighbors, friends, and perhaps colleagues — is the latest victim of 21st century technology.

Why? Well, for one thing, more and more people are dropping traditional landlines and are opting for getting by with just their mobile phones. And cellphone numbers are not published in the White Pages books. It also seems that the number of new orders for landlines has been declining significantly over the past decade, while existing landlines are being discontinued at a rate of nearly 10 percent each year.

In addition, most people these days, according to the telephone companies, are leveraging the internet to find phone numbers, rather than flipping through the pages of the telephone book. As a result, these thick White Pages books often go unused, simply taking up space on kitchen counters, languishing atop refrigerators, ending up stuffed into junk drawers, or being immediately tossed into recycling bins.

Telephone companies are also touting the positive environmental impact of eliminating the publication of paper telephone books: less paper, less ink, and less recycling. It is interesting that the telephone companies don’t seem to be talking about how the elimination of the White Pages will potentially lower their costs and, thereby, produce higher profits. I wonder why that is.

So far, 16 states have granted (or are currently considering granting) permission to the telephone companies to cease publishing print versions of the White Pages. The likelihood is that more states will follow suit in the near future.

Yet, unlike the White Pages, business directories, often referred to as “The Yellow Pages,” seem to be thriving. According to the Yellow Pages Association, an industry trade group, more than half of Americans still let their fingers do the walking.

So exactly why are the folks from New Haven, in particular, so upset by the possible demise of the White Pages? It’s because New Haven considers itself to be the birthplace of the White Pages. The New Haven District Telephone Company published the first telephone subscriber listing on February 21, 1878, about two years after the telephone was invented. It had fifty names…and no, mine wasn’t one of those fifty. I never lived in New Haven.

So New Haveners are apparently pissed off that their one-page sheet of telephone subscriber names from 1878, which over the decades evolved into the thick, annually published book of names, addresses, and telephone numbers, and had become a household fixture all across the nation, has been rendered obsolete, thanks to the Information Age and the internet.

Damn you Al Gore!