That Was My Mistake

WARNING: This post includes a scene involving sexual assault and rape.

I walked into my bedroom and gazed at my unmade bed, awash in the sunlight coming through the bedroom window. As I got closer to my bed, I could still smell his scent on my sheets. My thoughts drifted back to last night at the bar with my BFF, Amanda.

Amanda, who has a longtime boyfriend, encouraged me to go up to this hunky guy standing alone at the other end of the bar and to introduce myself. “He’s gorgeous,” Amanda said. “Just look at him. He’s the putative Mister Right.” And so I did. I walked up to him, smiled, and said, “Hi, I’m Denise. And you are?”

He gave me the once over, seemingly appraising me, and deciding whether or not to engage. Then he reached out and shook my hand. “Denise, is it? I’m Ethan. Listen, Denise, I can barely hear you over the music at this place,” he said. “There’s a quiet restaurant just up the block and I’m starved. Would you like to go there to grab a bite to eat and to get to know each other.”

I looked over at Amanda, who smiled back at me, winked, and gave me the thumbs up sign. Ethan grabbed my hand, led me out of the bar, and we started walking to the restaurant. Once there, we sat down at a quiet table in the corner and started talking. He seemed to be smart, witty, and someone who made me feel perfectly at ease. In fact, he made me feel so comfortable that I completely let my guard down, and that was my mistake.

After our delightful meal, we left the restaurant. He asked me if he could give me a ride home, but my apartment was only three blocks north, and he offered to walk me there. When we got to my place, Ethan told me how pleased he was that I introduced myself to him and had agreed to join him for a late dinner. He drew me toward him, put his arms around me, and gave me a warm, gentle kiss. It was nothing short of wonderful, and even though it was well past midnight, I didn’t want the night to end, so I invited him into my apartment for that proverbial nightcap.

Once I unlocked the door and we walked in, we were immediately locked in each other’s arms and started kissing again. I don’t know what I was thinking, but in the heat of the moment, I led him to my bedroom. Ethan pushed me hard down on the bed and jumped on top of me, pinning me beneath him. When he started tearing my blouse off, I shouted, “Whoa! Slow down, Ethan.”

But he didn’t listen. “I know you want it, bitch!” he said, continuing to literally rip my clothing from my body. “I know a cock teaser when I see one,” he added.

I began to struggle, but he was too strong. He managed, while holding me down with one hand, to tear my panties off and to lower his pants with his other hand. I started to scream as he entered me, but he put his hand over my mouth. “Shut up, bitch!” he said, as he continued pounding my body. I couldn’t do anything to stop him.

It was all over in a few minutes when Ethan spent himself inside of me. He got off of me, stood up, and pulled his pants up. I was sobbing, curled up in the fetal position. “Normally, Denise, I’m not the bullying type,” he said, “but you were asking for it, and I gave you what you wanted and you know it. And by the way, Ethan is not my real name.” Then he left.

Now I’m standing in my bedroom, gazing at my unmade bed, awash in the sunlight coming through the bedroom window, smelling his scent on my sheets. Picking up my cellphone, I press the number for Amanda, my BFF.

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (the bedroom window), The Daily Spur (smell), Your Daily Word Prompt (putative), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (music), Word of the Day Challenge (wit), and My Vivid Blog (bullying). Photo credit: Becca Schultz @ Unsplash.

Throwback Thursday — Nicknames

Maggie, at From Cave Walls, and Lauren, at LSS Attitude of Gratitude, alternate hosting Throwback Thursday. The idea of the prompt is for them to give us a topic and for us to write a post in which we share our own memories or experiences about the given topic. This week, Lauren chose the topic of “nicknames,” and she wants to know…

Did you grow up with a nickname?

When I was a kid, my father used to call me “Butch.” I think it was wishful thinking on his part. I think he was hoping for a tough bruiser of a boy who didn’t take shit from anyone. Instead, I was the nerdy, studious type of kid, more likely to be on the debate team than on the football team. I was not very coordinated. I was skinny, wore glasses, had braces on my teeth, and pimples on my face. I was more of a Sheldon than a Butch, which also meant that I was more likely to be beaten up than to beat up another.

Because I was a tall and lanky kid, my best friend’s father called me either “String Bean” or “Beanpole.” He was a mean bastard, even to his own son.

On the other hand, my classmates gave me the nickname of “Doodles” because I used to doodle all the time in my school notebooks.

Was the nickname a form of endearment or a shielded criticism?

I think my father’s nickname was meant as a form of endearment. Obviously “String Bean” and “Beanpole” were not. “Doodles” was just an acknowledgment of my propensity to draw doodles.

Has your nickname influenced you in any way?

It did bother me a little that I did not live up to my father’s “Butch” expectations. I was fine with “Doodles,” but “String Bean” and Beanpole” motivated me to lift weights in an effort to put some muscles on my bones.

Did you ever give a nickname to a family member?

I often called my son “Bubba” or “Bubs.” Strangely, I didn’t have a nickname for my daughter. My wife’s nickname was — and still is — “Yes Dear.”

Have you tried to get rid of a nickname?

Nah. I think if I let people know that I was bothered by their nicknames for me, it would have encouraged them to continue to use them.

If you could give yourself your own nickname what might it be?

Um, Fandango, maybe?

MLMM Photo Challenge — All In a Row

They swore allegiance
To the man
They gave their promise
To follow him
No matter where he led them
Loyal to a fault
Despite his cons
Despite his lies
But take a closer look
At his followers
All in a row
They’re no longer people
They’ve turn into sheep
Little do they know
That he’s leading them
To slaughter

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: One Big Photo.

FOWC with Fandango — Music


Welcome to October 28, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (U.S.).

Today’s word is “music.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.