Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.
1. What are the names of Santa’s eight reindeer?
One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, and Eight. Did you know that Santa originally had nine reindeer? It’s true. But then tragically one night, Seven ate Nine.
2. What reindeer was known for having a unique nose?
3. What was so unique about said reindeer’s nose?
He had a nose job, which he claimed was because he had a deviated septum. But all the other reindeer knew that it was purely cosmetic.
4. Who wore a magic top hat that made him sing and dance?
5. According to the song, who’s eyes are “all aglow”?
The children who live in the Village of the Damned.
6. Who exactly is Susie Snowflake?
She’s that girl in your Current Affairs class who is always looking for her “safe space.”
7. Why do we hang stockings by the chimney at Christmas?
Because the clothes dryer is on the fritz.
8. According to the song, why had we “better watch out, better not cry, better not pout”?
Because you don’t want anyone accusing you of being a Susie Snowflake.
9. According to the same song, when does Santa see you?
When you’re masturbating.
10. Why do we leave cookies and milk for Santa?
Only sadistic people leave cookies and milk for Santa because everyone knows that Santa suffers from celiac disease and if exposed to gluten found in most cookies, it causes inflammation in the gut. He also is lactose intolerant and shouldn’t consume dairy products such as milk.