Friday Fictioneers — The Sick Tree

“I’m sorry, Billy,” his mom said when he ran into the house crying, “but your favorite old tree was sick and the tree doctor said it couldn’t be saved. He said we needed to put it down so that it wouldn’t fall on our house in the next big storm.”

“Are you going to put me down, too, the next time I get sick?” Billy asked. “Like you did with our dog a few months ago and our cat last year?”

“Don’t be silly, Billy,” his mom said. “We’d never do that to you. Just don’t get sick.”

(98 words)


Written for the Friday Fictioneers prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Photo credit: Sandra Crook.

Freak Show

I thought we were quite fortunate when the rotund, garishly attired carnival barker invited us to step inside the pavilion for a free sneak peek at his “Freaks of Nature” show. But it’s clear now that he was using psychology to lure us in just to give us a taste of the horrors within before he told us it would cost ten dollars to see more.


Written for these daily prompts: MMA Storytime (fortunate), Your Daily Word Prompt (rotund), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (garish), Ragtag Daily Prompt (free), The Daily Spur (psychology), and Word of the Day Challenge (horror).

Fibbing Friday — Christmas in July

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1. What are the names of Santa’s eight reindeer?

One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, and Eight. Did you know that Santa originally had nine reindeer? It’s true. But then tragically one night, Seven ate Nine.

2. What reindeer was known for having a unique nose?

Nosy.

3. What was so unique about said reindeer’s nose?

He had a nose job, which he claimed was because he had a deviated septum. But all the other reindeer knew that it was purely cosmetic.

4. Who wore a magic top hat that made him sing and dance?

Fred Astaire.

5. According to the song, who’s eyes are “all aglow”?

The children who live in the Village of the Damned.

6. Who exactly is Susie Snowflake?

She’s that girl in your Current Affairs class who is always looking for her “safe space.”

7. Why do we hang stockings by the chimney at Christmas?

Because the clothes dryer is on the fritz.

8. According to the song, why had we “better watch out, better not cry, better not pout”?

Because you don’t want anyone accusing you of being a Susie Snowflake.

9. According to the same song, when does Santa see you?

When you’re masturbating.

10. Why do we leave cookies and milk for Santa?

Only sadistic people leave cookies and milk for Santa because everyone knows that Santa suffers from celiac disease and if exposed to gluten found in most cookies, it causes inflammation in the gut. He also is lactose intolerant and shouldn’t consume dairy products such as milk.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — July 9th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 9th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.


This was originally posted on July 9, 2017.

Savage Me

IMG_2398

“I want you to savage me,” she said, glancing at him with a wicked smile on her face.

“You mean you want me to ravage you, don’t you?” he responded.

“What?”

“Savage is usually used as an adjective or a noun,” he said. “It’s rarely used as a verb. One doesn’t savage something…or someone.”

“What?” she repeated, now with a quizzical look on her face.

“Yes,” he continued. “Savage means undomesticated or lacking normal human constraints. But ravage means to wreak havoc upon. So what you really want me to do,” he said as he winked at her and flashed what he hoped was a sexy look, “is to wreak havoc upon you, not to act undomesticated or to lack normal human constraints. Hence, you want me to ravage you, not savage you.”

“No,” she said emphatically as she jumped up out of the bed and put on her robe. She turned around and glared at him. “You want to know what I really want? I really want you to get up, get dressed, and get out of here. You are an asshole. A pedantic asshole.”

“Wow,” he said. “You really know how to savage a guy.”


This is my post for today’s WordPress one-word prompt: “savage.”

FOWC with Fandango — Garish

FOWCWelcome to July 9, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “garish.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.