Friday Fictioneers — Cherry Tomato Depot

“Let me get this straight,” the loan officer, Ted Henderson, said. “You invested a quarter of a million dollars of your own money, exhausting your life’s savings, to build a structure in the shape of a giant cherry tomato, and now you need a loan so that you can actually have the funds to open up a retail store called ‘Cherry Tomato Depot’ that sells only cherry tomatoes. Is that right?”

“That’s right, sir,” Todd said. “The cherry tomato business is booming.”

Henderson picked up a rubber stamp, pressed it on the loan application, and handed it to Todd.

(99 words)


Written for the Friday Fictioneers prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Photo credit: Dale Rogerson.

Flea Circus

“Those are some sideburns you have there, Alan,” Tom said pointing to the bushy hair on both side of Alan’s face.

“They’re not sideburns,” Alan icily said.

“Okay,” Tom said. “Mutton chops, then.”

“Mutton chops are big, bushy sideburns,” Alan explained. “What I’m sporting are burnsides, which are mutton chops that flow into a substantial mustache. Burnsides are named after Ambrose Everett Burnside. He was an American soldier, railroad executive, inventor, industrialist, and politician from Rhode Island. He served as the Governor of Rhode Island from 1866 to 1869, and as a United States Senator for Rhode Island from 1875 until his death in 1881.”

“Oh,” Tom said. “I see. I’m curious why you would choose to adorn you face with a style of sideburns that dates back 150 years or so”

“Truth be told, Tom,” Alan said, “I have a rather sizable mole on the left side of my face and I’m very self-conscious about a blemish that substantial and ugly, so that is why I grew these burnsides in the first place. Now I have gotten quite used to my style of facial hair.”

“It must be a challenge to keep those big, bushy burnsides from getting all tangled and mangy-looking,” Tom said. “Do you spend much time each day grooming them?”

“No more so than any man who has a beard and mustache,” Alan said.

“Well, you may want to get some flea powder,” Tom said. “I think you’ve got a bit of a flea circus going on within your burnsides property.”


Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (burnsides), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (blemish), Ragtag Daily Prompt (challenge), Your Daily Word Prompt (tangle), and The Daily Spur (property).

Fibbing Friday — Reality TV Trivia

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1. What TV show was the first “reality” TV show?

The Huntley-Brinkley Report

2. What is the premise of Top Chef?

Each contestant chef must prepare a five-course meal while running up the stairs at the Sears Tower (now the Willis Tower) in Chicago. Whichever chef reaches the top floor with the best tasting meal is designated as the “Top Chef.”

3. Why is it called X Factor?

Because A Factor through W Factor had already been taken.

4. What kind of act or acts won’t you see on America’s (or Britain’s) Got Talent?

Acts demonstrating any useful talents whatsoever.

5. What show spawned the phrase, “You’ve been voted off the island”?

“Gilligan’s Island.“

6. What is the premise of Project Runway?

It’s a documentary highlighting the achievements of various state and local agencies in their efforts to provide shelter for runaway children. Unfortunately, the set designer made a spelling error when creating the graphics for the show.

7. What show put a bunch of washed-up B list actors in a house together?

“Full House.”

8. What was the first reality show to feature the an aging rock star and his family?

“3rd Rock from the Sun.”

9. What reality TV show was created in response to the popularity of Desperate Housewives?

“Exhausted Husbands.”

10. What was the show American Chopper about?

It was a competition among professional chefs to see which ones could chop raw onions the fastest without shedding any tears.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — June 11th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 11th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.


This was originally posted on June 11, 2017 and it was the first WordPress daily prompts I participated in since I started this blog a few weeks earlier.

Triumph Spitfire

Prior to today, I hadn’t participated in a WordPress prompt. But when I saw today’s Daily Prompt: Triumph, I was reminded of a love affair I used to have in my youth with British roadsters. And so I thought I’d give the Daily Prompt a go.

IMG_2327

I owned, at one time or another, a Sunbeam Alpine, Austin Healey 3000, MG Midget, and Jaguar XK150. And, of course, a Triumph Spitfire, like the one pictured above.

British roadsters in the 60s were notoriously unreliable. Yet I kept buying them over and over despite their poor quality and workmanship. Because when they ran, they were were so much fun to drive. There was just something sexy and exotic about driving around in a British roadster with the top down and the wind blowing through my hair, at least when they were in running condition — and when I still had hair.

That said, of all the British roadsters I owned during my decade-long British roadster phase, the biggest POS was the Triumph Spitfire. It looked great, but as a mode of reliable transportation, it was anything but a triumph.

Whenever the humidity got above 50%, which was more often than not, my Spitfire wouldn’t start. I would have to bring out my jumper cables and persuade one of my neighbors to give me a jump. No amount of time spent at car repair shops specializing in British cars would successfully cure the Triumph’s antipathy toward dampness.

I ultimately had to sell my beautiful but temperamental Spitfire when my frequent tardiness at work resulted in an ultimatum from my boss to either get a more reliable car or find another job.

Alas, keeping my job triumphed over keeping my Triumph.

FOWC with Fandango — Blemish

FOWCWelcome to June 11, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “blemish.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.