That’s Not Funny

The soldier violently grabbed me and pulled me to my feet even though I was peacefully demonstrating during the sit-in. He barked laconic orders at me and my fellow protesters. “Get up!” he shouted. “Stand still. Don’t say a word.”

“Isn’t this show if force a bit much?” I asked.

“Shut your pie hole,” he shouted back at me.”

Trying to display some jocularity to ease the tension, I smiled and said, “Apple pie a la mode will do nicely to fill my pie hole.”

The soldier clearly wasn’t amused when he put me in handcuffs.

Written for these daily prompts: MMA Storytime (soldier), Your Daily Word Prompt (violent), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (laconic), The Daily Spur (show), Ragtag Daily Prompt (jocularity), and Word of the Day Challenge (amused).

14 thoughts on “That’s Not Funny

  1. Dave Kingsbury May 16, 2021 / 1:55 pm

    You use these disparate words to dramatic and comic effect. Do you ever get a list that stumps you, may I ask?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango May 16, 2021 / 2:06 pm

      Thank you, Dave. Most of the time I can figure out a way to weave a tale out of five or six random words, but there are times when I can’t quite get it done without the story sounding too contrived, so I give up. And there are occasions when one or more of the words offered are so unusual or archaic that trying to use them seems totally artificial.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Dave Kingsbury May 16, 2021 / 2:33 pm

        I suppose that’s the art, to create something that sounds natural from an random, artificial source. I do acrostic poems based on words from – thing is, I force myself to use the given word because giving up might mean I won’t make the effort in future. Crazy, isn’t it?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Stine Writing May 16, 2021 / 2:26 pm

    Most of those cocky cops don’t like sarcasm. It might make them smile.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Marleen May 16, 2021 / 2:51 pm

    I was talking to a police officer on the phone, recently, and he volunteered that they don’t do accident reconstruction unless there’s a casualty. I matter-of-factly asked if he meant someone has to die on the spot and that it has to be gory. What if someone dies in the ambulance or at the hospital? He became agitated and couldn’t answer the question.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marleen May 16, 2021 / 2:54 pm

      I thought, man… if that’s how they respond to someone with a soft voice on the phone, no wonder they overreact to someone who doesn’t worship them (but instead thinks of him or herself as a citizen) in person.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Sadje May 16, 2021 / 5:44 pm

    Not safe to make jokes when they are already mad at you! Great story

    Liked by 1 person

  5. DJ RMX May 18, 2021 / 2:31 am

    A cop told me I was being aggressive towards him and if I didn’t stop I’d be arrested. I dunno what I did to get that kind of warning from him. All I had said was to “p-ss off back the donut shop and to stop blocking traffic with yo’ stoopid a$$ armed presidential police escort.”

    Talk about over-reacting. It’s not like I waved a gun around or anything. Although I did say I’d stop paying my taxes so he couldn’t get paid to fund his donut addiction and increase his fat a$$ piggy stomach another belt size.

    People today have no sense of humour. I told that to the guy I shared the slammer with after I told him not to worry about dropping the soap since no-one is blind enough to grape that fat a$$.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Danny Whack! July 1, 2021 / 6:32 am

    Hmm ok..

    Liked by 1 person

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