Three Line Tales — Transported

Wouldn’t it be bodacious if we could find a magic wand that could transport us all from this tired, broken world?

And send us to a time and place where humanity’s profile wasn’t all about selfishness, greed, and ignorance?

And where we could negate the disrespect for the environment and could encourage a renewed love for Mother Nature?

Written for Sonya’s Three Line Tales. Photo credit: Jonathan Leppan via Unsplash. And for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (bodacious), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (wand), Ragtag Daily Prompt (tired), The Daily Spur (profile), Your Daily Word Prompt (negate), and MMA Storytime (mother).

Fibbing Friday — Old Sayings

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as hosts for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1. What exactly is a “rhetorical question?”

It’s a question that cannot be answered.

2. What is meant by a “hair’s breadth”?

It’s what you smell when you go up to someone and bury your nose in their hair and take a deep breath.

3. How long is a “New York minute”?

About ten seconds. As opposed to a “Texas minute,” which is about half an hour.

4. What does it mean to “fly by the seat of your pants”?

It’s what happens when there is severe turbulence on a flight and you get so scared that you shit your pants.

5. What does “by the skin of your teeth” mean?

It’s what the dentist has to scrape off your teeth if you haven’t had a teeth cleaning on over five years.

6. What are “the dog days of summer”?

It’s when the temperature is so hot that even your dog doesn’t want to go outside to take care of business.

7. What does it mean to “go ’round Robin Hood’s barn”?

It’s an old custom that the people of Nottingham celebrate every May 1st when they all dance around Robin Hood’s barn right before burning the Sheriff of Nottingham in effigy.

8. What does it mean when a project “gets the green light”?

It means that it’s safe to move forward through the intersection with your project in the back of your truck.

9. What does it mean to “eighty-six” something?

It’s when the specific something has been relegated to “file thirteen.”

10. What or where exactly is “file thirteen”?

It’s where the something that his been “eighty-sixed” are stored.

#writephoto — The Tower

“Look, Daddy,” Michael said, excitedly pointing to the tower next to the stone ruins of what was once a great castle. “Will we also see a giant king, queen, knight, and bishop while we’re here?”

Michael’s father looked at his son. He was somewhat perplexed. “Michael, why would you ask me about giants?”

“Because, Daddy,” Michael said, pointing again toward the tower, “there’s a giant rook right there. So where are the giant knight, bishop, king, and queen? I don’t see them anywhere.”

“Ah,” Michael’s father said, finally understanding what his young son meant. He had just started teaching Michael how to play chess and Michael really seemed to take to it. So he could see how that tall tower resembled the chess piece, the rook, and how seeing a very tall rook-shaped tower might give his five-year old son the impression that other giant chess pieces might also be nearby.

“Michael,” his father said, “that’s not a giant rook. It’s a tall tower with a battlement on top that was probably once used for the castle’s defense. Because towers like that one were the tallest structures of the castle, they could provide a great vantage point for archers to shoot down at oncoming attackers.”

“Oh,” Michael said.

His father could see the disappointed look on his young son’s face. “But you know what, Michael, let’s walk all around the place and who knows, maybe we’ll find a giant king, queen, bishop, and knight if we try hard enough.”

Written for this week’s #writephoto prompt from KL Caley. Photo credit: KL Caley.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — May 14th

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 14th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on May 14, 2006 on my old blog, back when I was still working and was flying all over the place for my job.

Honey, Look What I Scored Today

I was pleased to learn, via an e-mail I received earlier this month from American Airlines, that I could pack my toiletries — toothpaste, deodorant, shampoo, shaving cream, and the like — into a quart-sized Ziplock baggie and bring it with me onto the airplane in my carry-on luggage. No more having to check my luggage at the ticket counter and retrieve it at baggage claim at the destination. Woo hoo! I would just have to remove the toiletry baggie from my roll-aboard and offer it up for scanning at the security area.

So when I flew from Boston to Los Angeles this past Monday, I packed my toiletries in the required baggie and, along with my laptop, my shoes, and my sport coat, put the baggie on the belt for separate screening through the airport security x-ray machine.

Unfortunately for me, I must have skimmed the very fine print in the e-mail relaying this good news. Had I read that fine print, I might have noticed that no one container could exceed three fluid ounces. It turned out that in my quart-sized baggie I had packed a half-used tube of Colgate toothpaste that, when new, had a net weight of 3.5 ounces, and a brand new, still sealed container of Gillette antiperspirant that was 4.0 ounces.

The TSA security guy carefully inspected my toiletries baggie. He opened it up and closely examined the used tube of Colgate and the deodorant. He looked at me and said, “I have to confiscate these. You can’t have any articles that exceed three ounces in your carry-on luggage. If you want to take these with you, you’ll have to check your bag.”

There was no way I was going to go back and get in the long line at the ticket counter to check my bag due to a half empty tube of toothpaste and some deodorant. Instead, I tried to reason with the guy and get him to give me a pass. “The tube of toothpaste is half empty,” I pointed out. “It can’t possibly weigh more than three ounces anymore. And the deodorant container, while larger than three ounces, is still sealed.”

My appeal didn’t work and after I gave up my toothpaste and deodorant, I was really pissed at the idiocy of it all. I steamed about it during the six-hour flight to Los Angeles, and all I could think of was this vision in my head of the TSA guy going home at the end of the day with a basket full of confiscating goodies.

I could see him walking in the door, going up to his wife, kissing her hello, and saying, “Honey, look at what I scored today. Here’s a brand new container of antiperspirant. It’s even still sealed. You can cross that off of your grocery list, babe.”

FOWC with Fandango — Wand

FOWCWelcome to May 14, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “wand.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.