FFfPP — The Pigeon Problem

“I’ve tried everything to keep those damn pigeons from landing on this wall and dropping their dirty, nasty poops all over the place for me to clean up,” Julian complained, “but nothing seems to work.”

“Did you try poison?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah, but the authorities made me stop because they were worried that people, especially kids, might accidentally ingest some.”

“What about traps?”

“No, they said I couldn’t put traps on the wall because they might injure a passerby.”

“What about putting an electrified mesh on top of the wall? That way, you’ll zap those airborne rats when they land.”

“I thought of that,” Julian said, “but the risk of people getting shocked ruled that out.”

“I know, I’ll hide in the bushes and shoot them with my shotgun when they land. That’ll teach ‘em.”

“God no,” Julian said. “You can’t go around taking pot shots at birds. What if you accidentally shot someone? But I do have an idea, Eddie.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“Didn’t you say that you recently got laid off and that you’re looking for work?”

“Well, yeah, but….”

“I’ll give you a sponge and a bucket and twenty bucks a day to come by first thing each morning and scrub the wall clean.

“Deal,” Eddie said.

Written for Roger Shipp’s Flash Fiction for the Purposeful Practitioner. Photo credit: Pixabay.

It’s Not as Scary as It Appears to Be

I’m a big enough man to admit when I’m wrong. For the past year I have written a deluge of posts lambasting WordPress’ decision to “decommission” (their word) the reliable, easy to use classic editor and to force us to “embrace” its block (Gutenberg) editor, whether we wanted to or not. And I most certainly did not want to.

As most of you know, I blog from my iPhone. In fact, at this very moment, I am sitting on my couch in my family room, listening to classic rock music, and composing this post.

But I digress. I have vigorously resisted this whole block editor thing for the better part of a year. First, I didn’t see any need for the elimination of the tried and true classic editor. Why, if the developers at WordPress were so thrilled with the new block editor, couldn’t they offer it as a “new and better” option, while continuing to offer the (mostly) beloved classic editor?

Second, the block editor that WordPress first introduced last year was not designed for use on the relatively small screen of mobile device. Maybe it worked well on a laptop, but it was shit on an iPhone. I resented feeling that if I wanted to continue to blog on WordPress, I’d have to do so on a laptop because the block editor was close to impossible to use on an iPhone. I even wrote in response to one of Dr Tanya’s Blogging Insights posts last July, “If the day ever comes when WordPress no longer offers the classic editor, that will be the day I will either find a different platform for my blog or I will just stop blogging.”

Well, that day came for those of us using the iOS app on our iPhones last month, when, as I explained in this post, WordPress removed the classic editor option from its iOS app. And that’s when it was shit or get off the pot time for me.

So I decided that I was going to dedicate myself to figuring out how to blog on my iPhone using the dreaded block editor, as it had become my only option. And it’s now my duty, as a member of this great blogging community, to admit that, in my rants over the past year, I seemed to have been making that proverbial mountain out of a molehill.

The current version of the block editor in the WordPress iOS app is usable. I can pretty much do with it all of what I was able to do with the iOS version of the classic editor. In fact, I can do a few more things with the iOS block editor than I could with the iOS classic editor.

So now I have no excuse to whine and rant about the block editor. No reason to hunt for another blog hosting site to move to. I’ve been able to move forward with the block editor on my iPhone without too much pain.

What I’ve learned is that no matter how dark the corridor ahead appears to be, one shouldn’t be afraid to step into it and see where it leads.

(I hope you appreciate how I managed to fit my FOWC with Fandango daily prompt word, “corridor,” into this post despite the fact that it had no relevance to the rest of this post.)

Written for these daily prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (deluge), The Daily Spur (duty), Word of the Day Challenge (proverbial), MMA Storytime (mountain), Ragtag Daily Prompt (excuse), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (corridor).

Who Won the Week? 05/02/2021

FWWTWThe idea behind Who Won the Week is to give you the opportunity to select who (or what) you think “won” this past week. Your selection can be anyone or anything — politicians, celebrities, athletes, authors, bloggers, your friends or family members, books, movies, TV shows, businesses, organizations, whatever.

I will be posting this prompt on Sunday mornings (my time). If you want to participate, write your own post designating who you think won the week and why you think they deserve your nod. Then link back to this post and tag you post with FWWTW.

This week’s Who Won the Week winners are Kamala Harris and Nancy Pelosi. On Wednesday night, President Joe Biden delivered his first prime-time speech to a joint session of Congress. And behind him he was flanked by Vice President Kamala Harris and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, two California Democrats.The two women made history that night as the first women — one of them Black and Indian American — to share the stage in Congress during a presidential address.

Biden noted the historic event at the very opening of his address. After taking the podium, Biden greeted the two women standing behind him with a “Madam Speaker” and “Madam Vice President.”

He then declared, “No president has ever said those words — and it’s about time.”

Maybe it won’t be too much longer before the individual giving a prime time presidential address to a joint session of Congress will be introduced as “Madam President.”

What about you? Who (or what) do you think won the week?

Song Lyric Sunday — Make Me Smile

For this week’s Song Lyric Sunday, Jim Adams has given us songs about “fix” or “make. Two songs immediately came to mind for me. One was Bonnie Raitt’s 1991 song, “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” a very sad song. The other was Chicago’s first big hit in 1970, “Make Me Smile,” a happy song. I decided to go happy this week.

“Make Me Smile” was a song written by James Pankow for the rock band Chicago with the band’s guitarist, Terry Kath, on lead vocals. The song was actually the first section from the 13-minute musical suite “Ballet for a Girl from Buchannon” on the group’s second album, Chicago (often called Chicago II), which was released in 1970.

Without the band’s knowledge, their record company excerpted the “Make Me Smile” section of the suite and pushed it to AM radio stations, which had thus far ignored the band. While the band had mixed emotions upon hearing their musical masterpiece chopped down for radio play, they were quite happy when the song became their first top ten hit, peaking at number nine on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 chart.

The success of “Make Me Smile” triggered renewed interest in the group’s two prior releases from 1969 which had previously failed to reach the U.S. Top 40. the record company went back to the group’s first album and edited down three more songs, which they released as singles: “Questions 67 And 68,” “Beginnings,” and “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?”

After Chicago’s original guitar player/vocalist Terry Kath, who sang lead on this song died in 1978, other members of the band, including Bill Champlin and Robert Lamm, would handle the vocals when they performed the song live.

In an interview with James Pankow, he said of the song, “Relationships, if they’re good, put a big smile on our faces. Love songs have always been a powerful ingredient in the song’s process. The songwriting process has often taken writers to that place.”

Here are the lyrics to “Make Me Smile.

Children play in the park, they don’t know
I’m alone in the dark, even though
Time and time again I see your face smiling inside

I’m so happy (oh, oh)
That you love me (oh, oh)
Life is lovely (whoa)
When you’re near me

Tell me you will stay
Make me smile

Living life is just a game so they say
All the games we used to play fade away
We may now enjoy the dreams we shared so long ago

Oh my darling
Got to have you
Feel the magic
When I hold you

Cry sweet tears of joy
Touch the sky

Now I need you (oh, yeah)
More than ever (oh, yeah)
No more crying (ohh, ohh)
We’re together

Tell me you will stay
Make me smile

FOWC with Fandango — Corridor

FOWCWelcome to May 2, 2021 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “corridor.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.