Rory’s Awkwardly Worded Questions

Sometimes when I read the various and seemingly random questions Rory asks, I need to rewrite them in order to make any sense out of them. Today Rory asked these questions below in what he called “Topical Tropical Trinity.” I am not sure why he called it that, as his questions are not really topical and they’re certainly not tropical. And since he asked four questions, I have no clue as to why he called it a trinity. Well, Rory’s mind works in strange ways. Maybe he’s just a fan of alliteration.

Anyway, here we go.

What prompts you to write about your favorite genres?

I don’t really have any favorite genres per se. I often respond to prompts — word or picture prompts — with flash fiction posts. I sometimes post about politics and current events. I suppose what prompts me most is my desire to write about whatever occurs to me or inspires me. In other words, this, that, and the other.

How do you personally define “fear” and do you think we should all live with an element of fear in our lives?

I suppose my definition of fear falls into the standard definition of fear, which is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” Do we need an element of fear in our lives? I think so…at least a small element of it. Fear can prevent us from behaving dangerously or from doing something stupid. But fear can also be overwhelming and even disabling if it becomes extreme. So a little fear is probably a good thing, where as extreme fear, not so much.

How long do you spend weekly with your hobbies?

My one and only hobby these days is blogging, and I’d say I spend, on average, three to five hours a day on blogging (writing and reading), so 21 to 35 hours a week.

Have you ever been or were you a hippie? Do you desire to be a hippie?

Been there, done that. Yes, back in the mid-sixties to the mid-seventies I was a long-haired, tie-dyed shirt and bell-bottom wearing, marijuana smoking, and, occasionally, an acid dropping hippie. Now I’m an old, bald, aging Baby Boomer. So no more long hair (not by choice), tie-dyed shirts, or bell bottom jeans. I will still occasionally indulge in a cannabis-infused edible, but that’s pretty much all that remains of my hippie days. Well, that and classic rock music.

Take Charge of Your Life

“So what brought you to me today?” the psychologist asked her new patient, Alan Greer.

“I read a review on Yelp,” Alan answered. “You got four stars.”

“I see,” Dr. Langley said. “But what I meant was why do you feel that you need counseling?”

“Oh right, of course,” Alan said, feeling slightly embarrassed. “I have this recurring dream that I’m in a tunnel and I see a light at the end of the tunnel, but no matter how fast or how long I walk toward the light, I never get any closer to it. That dream is fomenting some very troubling feelings in me.

Dr. Langley smiled. “That’s hilarious,” she said.

“Hilarious?” Alan said, indignantly. “What kind of shrink are you? You find this funny?”

“Alan, this whole light at the end of the tunnel shtick, it’s such a cliché,” Dr. Langley said. “You’re lost and you don’t see a way to find yourself. So what you need to do is change the channel.”

“Change the channel?” Alan said. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Think of your life as a TV show, Alan,” Dr. Langley said. “You’re sitting on your couch and watching the same show hour after hour, day after day and you can’t change the channel. So you’re stuck in this rut and can’t climb out. Therefore, what you need to do is pick up the damn remote control and change the channel. Find another show to watch. One that inspires you and motivates you take charge of your life. You need to stop being a character in someone else’s screenplay. You need to write your own script. Can you do that, Alan?”

“Yeah, I think I can, Doc,” Alan said. “I’m going change the channel, write my own script, and take charge of my life.”

“Yes, Alan,” Dr. Langley said,” but you do understand, Alan, that I’m speaking metaphorically, don’t you?”

Written for these daily prompts: MMA Storytime (counseling), Ragtag Daily Prompt (tunnel), Your Daily Word Prompt (foment), Word of the Day Challenge (hilarious), The Daily Spur (channel), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (therefore).

Fibbing Friday — Comical

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1 – Who was the first cartoon character created by Walt Disney?

Bugs Bunny

2 – What is Stan Lee most known for?

He played the lead role in the Charlie Chan movies.

3- What is the difference between anime and manga?

They are both a type of fruit, but the anime is bitter and the manga is sweet.

4- What comic sleuth is often credited with inspiring/predicting the smart watch?

Inspector Gadget.
5 – Who is Batman?

A guy who specializes in ridding your house of bats.

6 – What is the source of Green Lantern’s power?

The Green New Deal.

7 – What villainous is Dr. Otto Gunter Octavius better known by?

Optimus Prime.
8 – Miazaki Hayao is credited with co-founding what animation studio?


9 – Ponyo is considered to be a Japanese variation of what fairy tale?

Little Red Riding Hood.

10 – What is the purpose of the website,

It’s a candy website that specializes in selling and shipping Tootsie Rolls and Nestle’s Crunch bars.

Friday Fictioneers — WITSEC

“You’re not serious, right?” Bernie asked the federal agent. “This place is a total dump. You gotta find me someplace else, someplace decent.”

“Sorry, Bernie, but this is what you get, at least until after the trial,” the agent said.

“You call this witness protection?” Bernie objected. “This is not much better than being in jail, for crissakes. You want me to testify, you need to do better than this shithole.”

“Relax,” the agent said. “It’s only for a few weeks. Then you’ll have an entirely new identify and we’ll relocate you. But if you’d rather go back to prison….”

(100 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo credit: Roger Bultot.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — March 5

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 5th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on March 5, 2018 on this blog. It was a Monday. But it was…

Not a Typical Monday

iPhone in the toiletEver had one of those Mondays? I don’t mean a typical Monday when you wake up with the realization that it’s Monday. I am talking about one of those Mondays, like the one I’m having today. It started when I woke up this morning.

As I always do as soon as I wake up, I turned on my iPhone. And, just as I also always do, I brought it with me into the bathroom. I placed the device on the wire shelving above the toilet, lifted up the toilet seat, removed my man-equipment from its hiding place, and proceeded to do what needed to be done.

Upon finishing, I tucked myself back in and noticed that the iPhone started to slip from the wire shelving above the toilet. Oh shit! And that’s when time began to move in slow motion.

My eyes widened as I saw my iPhone slowly become airborne. I tried to react as quickly as I could. I reached out toward the falling device, but my timing and my aim were both a little off. The iPhone had just enough of a head start, and my reactions were just a touch too slow, to grab the device in mid-air.

And then I heard the sound of the splash when my iPhone plunged into the toilet bowl. Oh the horror!

My options were limited. I couldn’t flush the toilet because my iPhone could have been sucked down the toilet trap and into the city’s sewage system. So, despite my misgivings, I reached my hand down into the yellowish water and retrieved the iPhone.

I shook it a few times over the bathroom sink to try to get any liquid that may have gotten inside of it to drain out. Then I grabbed a towel and dried it as quickly as I could. Once dried, I put it aside and washed my hands.

I examined my iPhone, hoping that it was still in working order. The home screen still showed all of the icons and I could still navigate to view my email, check the web, open the weather app, and go pretty much anywhere I needed to go. Yup, it seemed that the phone, despite its plunge into the toilet bowl, was still working. Phew!

My next test was to see if the telephone aspect of the iPhone was still functioning. I was relieved when it worked as expected, although I admit that I didn’t put the phone right up next to my ear. I used the speakerphone.

But then a message starting appearing on my iPhone’s screen every few minutes. It read, “This cable or accessory is not certified and may not work reliably with this iPhone,” which was strange since there was no cable or accessory plugged into it. I turned the phone off and back on, but the message persisted. Uh oh. Something was amiss.

A few hours later, when my battery was down to about 50%, I inserted the charging cable into my iPhone. Good news! The device was, in fact, charging! And the error message disappeared.

So despite plunging into a urine-filled toilet bowl, my iPhone seems to be fine. I have decided, though, given that it was submerged, albeit ever so briefly, in a toilet bowl into which I had just peed, that the bathroom is going to be off-limits to my device from now on.

I sure hope the rest of my Monday is going to be more typical.

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “typical.”