Happy Together

“There’s already a stain on our new carpet,” Diane complained to her boyfriend. “What did you spill on it?”

“It wasn’t me, it was the cat,” Mitch said. “He threw up a hairball this morning, but I cleaned it up, so now it’s virtually invisible.”

“It’s not invisible if I noticed it,” Diane said.

“Well, it blends in with the pattern in the rug,” Mitch said. “You really have to strain to see it.”

“I don’t know why I agreed to let you get a cat,” Diane said. “He’s destroyed our furniture with his claws, he’s throwing up hairballs every other day, and I’m even finding cat fur in my food. I think we should get rid of him.”

“No way, Diane,” Mitch said, “I’d sooner get rid of you than the cat.”

“You can’t be serious,” Diane said. “You’d detonate our relationship over a fucking cat?”

“Well, consider the variables,” Mitch said. “The cat is low maintenance, not demanding, doesn’t hassle me all the time about stupid things like invisible stains on the rug. I’d say, in the scheme of things, the cat’s foibles are easier to deal with than are your idiosyncrasies.”

“Okay, fine, we’ll keep the damn cat,” Diane said.

“Great,” Mitch said. “I’m sure the three of us will be very happy together.”

Written for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (invisible), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (pattern), MMA Storytime (detonate), The Daily Spur (strain), Word of the Day Challenge (variable), and Your Daily Word Prompt (foible).

22 thoughts on “Happy Together

  1. Iain Kelly March 3, 2021 / 1:09 pm

    Good one. I often wonder why people keep cats – their instagram accounts seem to be full of them complaining that the cat has destroyed something else!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango March 3, 2021 / 1:23 pm

      They can be destructive, but they are so damn cute. 😀

      Liked by 2 people

      • cagedunn March 3, 2021 / 2:21 pm

        I’ve managed to train all my cats out of their destructiveness with furniture/curtains, etc. All but one, and he was old when I got him so I blame the previous owner who let him get away with it.
        It’s possible to stop cats destroying your possessions by putting out things they are allowed to destroy and praising (or playing) when they do.
        It can be done.
        The simplest way is to play with the cat every day until they’re exhausted (active play, not just dangling a string-thing). Best before tucker (it’s the whole hunt, kill, eat cycle) so they know that it’s over when the food is on the table. Twenty minutes, and for the more rambunctious chaps in the feline fray do it morning and evening. That’s the easiest path.
        For the right reward, a cat will come when called (okay, mostly), and play with the allocated objects.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Fandango March 3, 2021 / 2:52 pm

          We have cat trees and scratching pads, but he still prefers the arms of the sofas and chairs. I’ve tried to “tucker him out,” but I tend to get tuckered before he does.

          Liked by 1 person

          • cagedunn March 3, 2021 / 3:30 pm

            And as he’s not a junior anymore …
            It’s harder when they’re older, but a long stick (not to whack them, just to catch their attention) or a noise-maker (serious distraction tactic) to use as they do it, perhaps. But sometimes it fails, regardless of what we do. I think cats may be much smarter than most humans. Maybe all of us. But we feed them, give them a warm bed, treat them like gods …

            Liked by 1 person

            • Fandango March 3, 2021 / 3:35 pm

              A dog looks at you and thinks to himself, “You feed me, you shelter me, you love me. YOU must be God!” A cat looks at you and thinks to himself, “You feed me, you shelter me, you love me. I must be God!”

              Liked by 2 people

  2. K.Hartless March 3, 2021 / 1:19 pm

    Ha! Your dialogue is tops! At least nothing too catastrophic happened this time. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Taswegian1957 March 3, 2021 / 2:49 pm

    I think I’d have chosen the cat. I couldn’t live with someone who didn’t like pets.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lindakempwriter March 3, 2021 / 4:03 pm

    I don’t know why I agreed to a cat either. Stupid thing ruins furniture, the kids love her more than me and Hubster, yet baulk at cleaning up after it.
    Great post, Fandango 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. abigfatcanofworms March 4, 2021 / 12:05 am

    If I were Diane, I would have left him. I have no problem with cats but he showed he didn’t value her.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. leigha66 March 8, 2021 / 7:07 pm

    I have my doubts the three of them will be happy together. Good piece though!

    Liked by 1 person

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