This, That, and the Other

They met on an online dating service and, after a few days of exchanging messages and a brief but pleasant phone conversation, they arranged to meet in person at a local coffee shop. Both had high hopes based upon the profiles and the pictures. But after a tedious half hour at the coffee shop, Maria knew that he wasn’t for her. She said that she was leaving and when he asked her why, she said, “You’re such a square, Ronald,” Maria said. “You’re not at all hip. You’re just, well, a square.”

“I’m not a square,” Ronald objected. “I can be hip, Maria.”

“No, you’re too conservative, too old fashioned,” Maria said. “I want a man who is unconventional, unpredictable, surprising, exciting.” Maria stood up and started to exit the coffee shop.

“Wait, Maria,” Ronald protested. “I can be all those things too. Plus, I can be spontaneous and romantic.” He grabbed Maria, pulled her close to him, and kissed her.

Maria immediately pulled away. “Ew, that was uncool,” she said. “Face it, Ronald, you’re stuffy and, frankly, uninteresting. You’re a square. You belong in Squaresville with all of the other strait-laced, boring, fuddy-duddy, traditionalist squares. I want someone enchanting, unique, individualistic, a man who can sweep me off my feet, and who can take me to unparalleled heights.”

“Well, okay, Maria,” a dejected Ronald said. “But consider this. I’m very, very wealthy. I may not be able to take you to unparalleled heights, but I can give you the finest things money can buy and take you to the most beautiful places in the world.

Maria grabbed Ronald’s hand, leaned into him, and whispered in a thick, throaty manner, “Oh, Ronald, way to bury the lede.”

“So I guess it’s all aboard for Squaresville, then,” a now delighted Ronald said.

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: DeviantArt.com.