Drawing a Blank

Fizgig? What kind of word is that?” Dango asked. “It sounds like one of those words that those folks at Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie would use for their ‘Making Sense of Nonsense’ prompts.”

“Actually,” Melanie said, “it’s a superior word and I’m happiest when I can come up with these arcane words that send people to their dictionaries in order to figure out what they mean.”

“Well, I Googled ‘fizgig’ and this is what I got. Seriously, Melanie, what am I supposed to do with that, whatever the hell it is? Honestly, I can’t figure out how to wangle that crazy word into a coherent post,” Dango admitted. “I’m coming up empty and I’m going to have to sit this one out, I’m afraid.”

“Oh come on, Dango,” Melanie said, “Are you really going to sit on the bench for this one?”

“I think I am, Melanie,” Dango said. “I hate to admit it, but I’m drawing a blank.”

Written for these daily prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (fizgig), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (superior), The Daily Spur (happiest), Your Daily Word Prompt (wangle), Ragtag Daily Prompt (bench), and MMA Storytime (blank).

A Month of Love #19

Paula Light says, “Let’s celebrate the month of lurve (aka love) by posting one thing we love every day throughout February.

Now the truth is that I’m not really a romantic guy, so I might be hard pressed to come up with 28 objects of love, but I think I should be able to come up with 28 things I like a lot.

You may remember that, for another one of Paula’s regular prompts, The Monday Peeve, I posted a rant about how my high-def smart TV wasn’t so smart and how, in order to watch some streaming channels other than the big three — Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime, which I can access via my cable provider — I had to purchase a third party streaming stick.

Well, my Roku Streaming Stick+ arrived on Tuesday and after about 15 minutes after plugging it in and following the easy, on-screen prompts to set it up, I was able to view the AppleTV+ and Discovery+ streaming networks. It was love at first sight (literally).I still resent that I had to buy this device in the first place, and that now I have FOUR remote control devices to contend with — TV remote, cable remote, AV surround sound remote, and now Roku remote. And I also resent that HGTV and other commercial networks are moving some programs that were previously available on basic cable over to paid subscription streaming services. They’re all a bunch of greedy bastards.

That said, I’m happy that a $50 solution resolved my streaming service dilemma.

By the way, for you cynics out there, I want to let you know that I’m not compensated in any way for posts that mention specific products or brands herein. This is a sponsor-free blog.

Friday Fictioneers — Priority Mail

Mildred was beside herself. “The funeral is at noon today,” she said. “What are we going to do if his ashes don’t arrive in time?”

“We can still have the service, Mom,” Steve said.

“No, we can’t have a funeral service without the remains of the deceased,” Mildred said. “The crematorium said they sent them via priority mail. Go to the post office and find out where they are.”

Steve dutifully drove to the post office and, after a few minutes, called his mother. “I got them. His remains were in what the call the ‘dead letter bin,’ ironically.”

(99 words)

Written for Rochelle Wisoff-Fields’ Friday Fictioneers prompt. Photo Credit: Ted Strutz.

Fibbing Friday — Something Smells Fishy

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in our responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1. How did tartar sauce get its name?

When consumed in great quantities, the sauce causes a hard calcified deposit known as tartar to form on the teeth, contributing to their eventual decay.

2. Why is Mardis Gras (aka Shrove Tuesday) also known as Pancake Day?

Because that was the day the first International House of Pancakes (aka “IHOP”) opened in New Orleans.

3. Why do so many people eat fish during Lent?

Because the farmer lent his cows to his neighbor and his family had to eat fish until the neighbor returned the cows the farmer had lent him.

4. What is the difference between sushi and sashimi?

The way they’re spelled.

5. What is noodling?

When you’re involved in a sort of intensive brainstorming session and the leader of the session says to the participants, “Let’s noodle on this for a while.”

6. How do you clean a fish?

With soap and water.

7. What are Swedish fish?

Fish that you can purchase only at IKEA.

8. What is a Bishop’s Mitre?

It’s a saw used to make accurate crosscuts often used at the direction of church bishops to construct pews.

9. What was the movie, The Shoes of the Fisherman about?

It was about Bigfoot, who was known for his ability to catch fish, but also for the size of his enormous feet.

10. What is the first day after Lent known as?

The day the neighbor was supposed to return the cows to the farmer.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday — February 19

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of your earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 19th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on February 19, 2018. Not much has changed in three years, has it?

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

Compromise is a part of life. For example, if I want to do one thing and my wife wants to do something else, we compromise — and do what she wants. Because, you know, happy wife, happy life.

But in American politics these days, compromise is a dirty word. It’s a sign of weakness, of capitulation. It’s considered to be a zero-sum game, a situation in which one group can win something only by causing the other group to lose it.

As a result, there is legislative gridlock in Congress where key votes are strictly along party lines and any congressperson who doesn’t vote that way is considered to be a traitor to his or her party.

No wonder Americans are frustrated and angry with the government and with Congress, where it’s always party above country. And we have an imbecile in the Oval Office and a Cabinet where the primary qualifiers for being on it are great wealth and incompetence for the role.

Perhaps for the greater good, our elected representatives should heed the words of the Rolling Stones:

You can’t always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you might find
You get what you need

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “compromise.”