25 thoughts on “TWT — I’m Sorry, I Love You

  1. Marilyn Armstrong February 16, 2021 / 3:58 pm

    Once upon a time, Garry and I used to ride horses. As in we rode often and took lessons, too. We went trail riding and the horse I was riding SHOULD have been wearing a martingale since he was a head tosser. I was always a bit too forward in the saddle and had a tendency to lean downward. I leaned, the horse tossed and I got whacked in the mouth by the top of the horse’s head. Do you KNOW how hard the top of a horse’s head is, especially when connected to a person’s upper lip?

    EVERYONE assumed Garry was beating me up. i told them “No, the horse tossed his head and whacked me in the face.” No one was convinced. Poor Garry.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango February 16, 2021 / 8:12 pm

      Falsely assumed to be guilty of domestic violence. Not a good thing. I assume no law enforcement was involved.

      Like

      • cagedunn February 16, 2021 / 10:14 pm

        Them’s the ones, with big, pointy rowels on ’em.
        Made for bootin’ boots.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango February 16, 2021 / 11:06 pm

      I know. This is a real problem and one that has been exacerbated over the last year since the pandemic lockdown began.

      Like

      • CARAMEL February 16, 2021 / 11:08 pm

        Indeed it has. The charities I work for often train victims of abuse in new skills and get them involved in projects that will boost their confidence as the meet some very lovely people. Inundated with new referrals over the past year!

        Like

  2. Mister Bump UK February 17, 2021 / 12:20 am

    This is like a genie coming out of a bottle, I think. Once you exhibit that behaviour, that’s it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Melanie B Cee February 17, 2021 / 8:51 am

    It was beautifully written, but it was deeply chilling too. I’ve been in that situation and can say it’s damned hard to NOT believe the abuser. A woman (or man) who is the subject of domestic violence has to find the courage and the resolve to walk away and never look back. Just like with drug or alcohol addiction, one has to do for themselves, believe in the action or it’ll never be broken. I was asked to speak to a group of women who were subjects (we don’t say “victim”, not ever) because I was deemed a rare ‘success’ in that I did ‘get away and stay away’ from my physical abuser. Now the monsters that use mental or emotional abuse as their weapon? I don’t know of many who have gotten away from that kind of abuse. It’s so subtle… Your writing was so well done, and I hope I didn’t cast a shadow over you by sharing all this. I

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango February 17, 2021 / 6:00 pm

      I’ve never been in this kind of situation but I’ve seen and read enough about it to know how difficult it can be to get out. I appreciate your comment about my writing and I applaud that yours was a success story.

      Like

  4. Richmond Road February 17, 2021 / 12:38 pm

    And we all shake our heads and wave our self-righteous fingers at the very thought of a man hitting a woman, or an adult hitting a child. But we still cheer when the guy in the white shirt hits the guy in the black shirt or the good country outguns the bad country in some propaganda-fueled battle perceived as good vs evil. It is hard to find a movie anywhere that is not a celebration of violence in some form.
    I think we all agree that domestic violence is unquestionably unacceptable. But we remain far from enlightened when it comes to violence in general.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango February 17, 2021 / 6:04 pm

      You’re right, but unfortunately, violence seems to be human nature.

      Like

      • Richmond Road February 18, 2021 / 2:30 am

        I’m sorry, mate, but that really doesn’t cut it.
        If we were to take the ‘human nature’ defence then we might as well just accept that guys beat up their wives – it’s just human nature, after all. We are an evolutionary species. We used to walk on all fours. We used to piss in our own drinking water. Owning slaves felt like ‘human nature’ once. Allowing women to vote seemed like a stupid idea not so long ago.
        I don’t think that there is any such thing as ‘human nature’ – it’s just a description for behaviour that we are (rightly) ashamed of. An excuse, in other words.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Fandango February 18, 2021 / 6:22 pm

          I’m not excusing violent behavior. I abhor it. I’m just saying that it’s been around since human beings evolved to become the dominant species on the planet and it’s likely, to one degree or another, to be around as long as human beings exist. Which, given what we are doing to our home planet, may not be that much longer.

          Like

          • Richmond Road February 18, 2021 / 11:12 pm

            Ha ha! Yes! The violence toward the planet is another thing to think about. But, of course, it’s not really the planet that we are destroying, it’s ourselves. The planet doesn’t care – it would be perfectly happy to continue on as an unliveable waste dump. Happier, perhaps. The planet might feel fortunate to witness our departure.
            I take your point, but I never really accept the concept of ‘human nature’. It reminds me of the ‘boys will be boys’ attitude when considering sexual assault. I dare say that rape was thought to be ‘human nature’ not all that long ago.

            Liked by 1 person

  5. leigha66 February 20, 2021 / 1:54 pm

    I don’t know if it is “normal” in alcoholic relationships but there was some mental/verbal abuse from my ex. Always saying he was sober and I was the one lying among other things. Always controlling where I went and for how long. Leaving took strength like you will never know … I am still to this day not sure how I pulled it all together.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Bulbul February 22, 2021 / 2:37 am

    Ow uh! It got too real super quick. A very accurate take, Fandango and it is sad how many people are trapped in this and actually believe it to be love. And it is not just limited to physical abuse, mental harassment is also a real thing about which people are even more oblivious. Thank you for talking about this.

    Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango February 22, 2021 / 3:04 pm

      You’re right, mental and emotional abuse can be as painful as physical abuse.

      Liked by 1 person

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