This, That, and The Other

Frank (aka PCGuy) and Di (aka Pensitivity101) alternate as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses. Today is Frank’s turn to host and here are his questions.

1. Why is October the tenth month rather than the eighth as its name implies?

Because counting hadn’t been invented when they named the months back in prehistoric days.

2. Why is Halloween on October 31st?

Because it’s not too hot and not too cold on October 31st. As Goldilocks said right before encountering the big, bad wolf at her grandmother’s house, “It’s just right.”

3. What exactly is “Pumpkin Spice”?

It’s what happens when pumpkins procreate.

4. How did the tradition of carving Jack-o’-lanterns start?

It dates back to Jack the Ripper when he would carve up his victims as if they were pumpkins.

5. Why are they called “Jack-o’-lanterns”?

To pay homage to the aforementioned Jack the Ripper.

6. Why is National Poetry Writing Month (NaPoWriMo) in April when National Poetry Day is October 3rd?

You know how poets are, right? They totally lose track of time.

7. What’s the big deal about Columbus Day?

You know, a lot of people are asking that same question these days.

8. Why do kids trick-or-treat on Halloween?

Because if they dressed up in outlandish costumes, wore masks to hide their identity, knocked on random people’s doors, and demanded candy on any other night, they’d be apprehended by ICE and thrown into cages at a juvenile detention center.

9. According to at least one Internet source, October 30th is National Candy Corn Day. Why?

The National Association of Candy Corn Manufacturers paid off that internet source to proclaim October 30th as National Candy Corn Day.

10. What happens to all the candy corn that doesn’t get eaten?

It all gets returned to the National Association of Candy Corn Manufacturers, where they grind up the uneaten candy corn and donate it to ICE in order to feed kids who were apprehended trick or treating on a night other than Halloween and who were shipped off to and caged in juvenile detention centers. Yeah, I know. That’s wrong on so many levels.