Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine

“I’m so pissed,” Ted said as he walked through the front door. “I’ve spent 35 years busting my hump for that damn firm and this is the way they recognize me?”

“Oh dear,” Angie said. “I guess your retirement luncheon didn’t go well.”

Ted walked over and handed a small box to his wife. “Look at what that fugal bastard gave me as a retirement gift.” Angie opened the box and looked up at her husband.

“Yeah, I wasn’t expecting a fucking Rolex, but a thirty dollar Timex watch? Are you kidding me?” Ted said. “I went up to my boss afterwards and said, ‘Seriously, this is it?’ You know what he said?”

“What?”

“He said the company has taken a financial hit since the pandemic started and that I needed to refine my expectations.”

“But didn’t you tell me that the company’s stock just reached an all-time high?” Angie asked.

“Yes,” Ted said, “but the CEO, who is like the prince of darkness, and his senior team and major shareholders, are the only ones who are lining their pockets. They’re buying Rolexes while treating the rest of us like cheap Timex watches.”

“I’m so sorry, Ted,” Angie said. “I know how disappointed you must be.”

“Give me that watch,” Ted said. “I’m going to wrap it up and send it back to my boss and tell him to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine.


Written for these daily prompts: Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (frugal), Word of the Day Challenge (watch), Your Daily Word Prompt (refine), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (darkness).

13 thoughts on “Where the Sun Doesn’t Shine

  1. Marilyn Armstrong September 26, 2020 / 3:55 pm

    After 30 years, Garry got a PLASTIC fake “old” clock. Most of the guys tossed them in the trash, but Garry is such a sentimental guy, he saved his. After all, it has his name on it. And you know, I bought hm a gold watch one birthday back when we were earning real money? It died ten years later. The Timex he is wearing will last forever. He bought me a Gucci for our first Christmas together. My cousin looked it up in the Spiegel catalogue, looked at the price tag and announced “He’s definitely serious.” You gotta trust the Spiegel catalogue, right?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango September 26, 2020 / 10:26 pm

      Is the Spiegel catalogue still a thing?

      Like

  2. Shweta Suresh September 26, 2020 / 8:39 pm

    Even if their own pockets are well padded, they will always skimp on gift giving.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hetty Eliot September 26, 2020 / 9:07 pm

    I almost thought we worked for the same company but they stopped doing gifts years ago. Last one I heard was a clear plastic tote bag.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Nova October 2, 2020 / 4:26 am

    Ted should have been grateful. What he doesn’t like, he could sell. Earn without spending!

    Liked by 1 person

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