Fibbing Friday — British Spice and Other Nonsense

Fibbing FridayFrank (aka PCGuy), alternates with Di (aka Pensitivity101) as host for Fibbing Friday, a silly little exercise where we are to write a post with our answers to the ten questions below. But as the title suggests, truth is not an option. The idea is to fib a little, a lot, tell whoppers, be inventive, silly, or even outrageous, in your responses.

1. What exactly is Yorkshire pudding?

It’s a British pudding made from ground up bits of homeless Yorkshire Terriers.Don’t ask what Shepherd’s pie is made from.

2. What is treacle, and why do people make tarts out of it?

It’s thick, sticky substance, used primarily by the British, that is poured over the heads of women of ill-repute (i.e., tarts) as a form of punishment. What’s with these Brits, anyway.

3. What is the key ingredient of haggis?

Haggis a British spice made from the ground up bones of recently deceased old ladies (aka hags).

4. How is toffee made?

By mixing together ground up tea leaves and ground up coffee beans. Best served hot, accompanied by Yorkshire pudding seasoned with generous portions of treacle and haggis.

5. How did pound cake get its name?

It was originally made by taking a wooden mallet and using it to pound the bones of recently deceased old women to make haggis, a primary ingredient of pound cake.

6 . Why is candy corn so named?

It was originally named “impacted tooth,” but a consumer testing panel determined that that name was too unappetizing.

7. What is marzipan?

It’s a flat, round, handheld tool used to pan for precious metals on the surface of Mars.

8. Why is a baker’s dozen so named?

Because Thomas Baker was the the first, and so far the only, human being born with six fingers on each hand and the British tabloids referred to him as “Baker’s Dozen.”

9. What is meant by the idiom, “Too many cooks spoil the pot”?

When you and your friends are high on pot and attempt to prepare a meal together in the kitchen, it’s bound to be a downer.

10. What is meant by the idiom, “What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander”?

Foie gras, which is made from goose liver that has become abnormally enlarged by force feeding a goose large amounts of food, is just as expensive whether it’s source is a female goose or a male goose (a gander).

27 thoughts on “Fibbing Friday — British Spice and Other Nonsense

  1. Sadje September 18, 2020 / 7:28 am

    I think these answers are hilarious, albeit a bit gruesome 😱

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Melanie B Cee September 18, 2020 / 8:56 am

    BWAHAHAHHAHA!!! On behalf of hags everywhere, I formally resent your answer to #s 3 & 5. And don’t get me started on #1! ASPCA??? 😛 (bwahahah ) ☺

    Liked by 3 people

    • Fandango September 18, 2020 / 10:39 am

      Don’t worry, Melanie. These were all a bunch of lies. I love dogs and older women. But I’m not crazy about what the British call food. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • Melanie B Cee September 19, 2020 / 8:52 am

        I don’t think I’ve ever had any truly authentic British food…although at one time in SLC there was a place that advertised it’s bakery as “authentic British cooking”…I got some meat pasties (meat pies to us) once and although too heavy on the onions for my own taste, they were really good. And I’d LOVE proper English ‘chips’ (aka french fries, thick cut to us) some time. I’d also love to try a Yorkshire pudding (which is a pastry, I’m not sure why they call it ‘pudding’), which apparently is really hard to make, and which, if done badly is awful. Properly done they’re like a little doughy bowl which is served with roast meat (beef?), gravy, veg and potatoes. Like our traditional Sunday dinners I guess. “Pudding” is also ‘dessert’ to some British folks. And ‘custard’ is our pudding, which is that dessert thing – chocolate or butterscotch usually…. English is so much fun to parsect!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Fandango September 19, 2020 / 11:13 am

          You know more about English cooking and food than I do, that’s for sure.

          Like

  3. Melanie B Cee September 18, 2020 / 8:56 am

    BWAHAHAHHAHA!!! On behalf of hags everywhere, I formally resent your answer to #s 3 & 5. And don’t get me started on #1! ASPCA??? 😛 (bwahahah ) ☺

    Liked by 3 people

  4. cagedunn September 18, 2020 / 2:02 pm

    I thought a baker’s dozen was thirteen, so does he have an extra thumb, too? Just the one extra thumb …

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango September 18, 2020 / 3:05 pm

      Well, if you’re telling the truth, yes, a baker’s dozen is 13. But if you’re fibbing, it’s a kid named Baker who has six digits on each hand. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

      • cagedunn September 18, 2020 / 4:02 pm

        Gypped again – I really wanted that extra thumb. Imagine how many buns those hands can hold!

        Liked by 1 person

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