Whenever I said to my mother, “But Ma, all of my friends are doing it,” her response inevitably was, “If all of your friends were jumping to their death from the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it?” That never really made sense to me because (1) we didn’t live anywhere in or near Brooklyn, and (2) why would any of my friends jump to their death off of any bridge?
That said, a lot of my fellow bloggers are playing this Fibbing Friday game that Frank (aka PCGuy) at Thoughts and Theories and Di at Pensitivity101 alternate hosting each Friday. Today was Frank’s turn.
So, since many of my blogging friends are doing it, yes, Ma, I’m going to do it too. The way it works is that we are supposed to answer the questions below in whatever manner we see fit; just be sure to bend, stretch, break, or outright ignore the truth.
Alrighty then. Let’s fib our asses off.
1. Who was the first President of the United States?
Gen. Charles Cornwallis. By the way, Donald Trump will probably be the last, as he’s bound and determined to turn the U.S. into a monarchy with him at the throne.
2. What was Abraham Lincoln’s best known nickname?
3. Whose faces are carved into Mt. Rushmore?
Chico, Groucho, Harpo, and Zeppo Marx.
4. What historic event started on April 19th, 1775?
I don’t know. I missed school the day we covered that in class.
5. What act of infamy is Benedict Arnold best known for?
He stole the recipe for Wonder Bread’s Classic White bread and gave it to his father at Arnold’s Bakery.
6. Who was Gen. Charles Cornwallis?
See my answer to question 1. Seriously, this test is too easy.
7. Why do we celebrate Labor Day?
To honor our mothers who spent hours in agony trying to pop us out of their ovens.
8. What is so special about the Autumnal Equinox?
It is one of the most effective remedies for intestinal imbalance.
9. Why do tree leaves change color in the fall?
So that the apples can fall far from the tree.
10. What do people mean when they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”?
See my answer to question 9. I’m telling you, this test is too damn easy.
And there you have it. Now maybe you understand why I’ve never participated in the Fibbing Friday prompt before and probably never will again.