Day: September 4, 2020

All of My Friends Are Doing It

Fandango15 Comments

Fibbing FridayWhenever I said to my mother, “But Ma, all of my friends are doing it,” her response inevitably was, “If all of your friends were jumping to their death from the Brooklyn Bridge, would you do it?” That never really made sense to me because (1) we didn’t live anywhere in or near Brooklyn, and (2) why would any of my friends jump to their death off of any bridge?

That said, a lot of my fellow bloggers are playing this Fibbing Friday game that Frank (aka PCGuy) at Thoughts and Theories and Di at Pensitivity101 alternate hosting each Friday. Today was Frank’s turn.

So, since many of my blogging friends are doing it, yes, Ma, I’m going to do it too. The way it works is that we are supposed to answer the questions below in whatever manner we see fit; just be sure to bend, stretch, break, or outright ignore the truth.

Alrighty then. Let’s fib our asses off.

1. Who was the first President of the United States?

Gen. Charles Cornwallis. By the way, Donald Trump will probably be the last, as he’s bound and determined to turn the U.S. into a monarchy with him at the throne.

2. What was Abraham Lincoln’s best known nickname?

“Headshot.”

3. Whose faces are carved into Mt. Rushmore?

Chico, Groucho, Harpo, and Zeppo Marx.Marx Brothers

4. What historic event started on April 19th, 1775?

I don’t know. I missed school the day we covered that in class.

5. What act of infamy is Benedict Arnold best known for?

He stole the recipe for Wonder Bread’s Classic White bread and gave it to his father at Arnold’s Bakery.

6. Who was Gen. Charles Cornwallis?

See my answer to question 1. Seriously, this test is too easy.

7. Why do we celebrate Labor Day?

To honor our mothers who spent hours in agony trying to pop us out of their ovens.

8. What is so special about the Autumnal Equinox?

It is one of the most effective remedies for intestinal imbalance.

9. Why do tree leaves change color in the fall?

So that the apples can fall far from the tree.

10. What do people mean when they say, “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”?

See my answer to question 9. I’m telling you, this test is too damn easy.

And there you have it. Now maybe you understand why I’ve never participated in the Fibbing Friday prompt before and probably never will again.

The Loyalty Oath

Fandango17 Comments

“Tell him no,” James Freeman, the prospective nominee for the cabinet-level role said. “I can’t take a loyalty oath to the man. I can only be loyal to the Constitution of the United States.”

“But he won’t put your name forward unless you agree to take a loyalty oath to him personally,” the presidential aide said. “Look, the fact is that he’s been dilatory in filling this position and you’ve come highly recommended. Please just get with the program and agree to signing the loyalty oath. Oh, and also the nondisclosure agreement.”

James bristled. “Wait, you want me to agree to a loyalty oath and to sign an NDA as well?”

“I’m afraid that’s what he requires. He will accept no excuse for not agreeing to those terms,” the aide said. “So I’ll ask you once again, will you agree to the oath and the NDA?”

“No, I won’t,” James said. “I’m not in the habit of pledging my loyalty to a man above my country. And I certainly won’t sign an NDA. In fact,” he added,” I’m going to go to the press and tell them that I’m turning down his nomination because of these unscrupulous demands.”

“Go ahead,” the aide said, “but be forewarned that between the President’s Twitter account and the way the folks at Fox News will rake you over the coals, your professional and personal reputation will be ruined. And you might get a visit from the FBI, as no doubt the Attorney General will open an investigation into you at the President’s bidding. The President can be very vindictive toward those who show disloyalty toward him.”

“Take your best shot,” James said. “I’d rather suffer Trump’s slings and arrows than sell my soul to the devil.”

Written for these daily prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (loyal), Word of the Day Challenge (dilatory), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (excuse), Ragtag Daily Prompt (again), and The Daily Spur (habit).

Friday Fictioneers — Prime Suspect

Fandango18 Comments

“There,” Detective Fred Morrisey said to the tech. “Back it up a few frames and pause it.”

“I see a woman in the shadows on the right,” Detective Ron Hayden said. “She’s taking a picture of our victim with her smartphone as he’s leaving that store.”

“Can you zoom in on her and lightened the image up?” Morrisey asked the tech.

“Holy shit!” Hayden exclaimed. “That’s our vic’s mother-in-law. She blames him for the mysterious disappearance of her daughter last year.”

“Yes,” Morrisey said. “And now I believe we have a new prime suspect in the murder investigation.”

(100 words)

Written for the Friday Fictioneers prompt from Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. Photo credit: CEAYR.

Fandango’s Friday Flashback — September 4

Fandango28 Comments

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of you earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 4th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on my old blog on September 4, 2014.

Preposition Precision

“How often do you get to (or have to) be awake for sunrise?” This is the question posed in Daily Prompt a few days back.

I’m not sure how to answer that question because I’m not sure what the question really is. Is it asking how often I get up for sunrise? Or how often I get up at sunrise? What about by sunrise? Before sunrise?

You may think I’m being petty, but I’m not. These are important distinctions. If one gets up for sunrise, that means he or she is getting up for a specific purpose. In this case, that specific purpose is to experience the sunrise.

But if someone gets up at sunrise, by sunrise, or before sunrise, it just might mean that, like me, he or she is an early riser. Most mornings I am usually up at, by, or sometimes even before sunrise. On rare occasions, I can sleep to well after sunrise.

But getting up for sunrise is a different story. I can’t remember the last time I specifically got up for a sunrise. In fact, I don’t know that I’ve ever woken up specifically for a sunrise.

So precision in prepositions is very important.

  • “When was the last time you sat in a car?” is a different question than “when was the last time you sat on a car?”
  • Doing something for someone else is very different than doing something to someone else.
  • Being on the inside is not the same as being on the outside.
  • Looking up to someone is not the same as looking down at someone.

So due to the lack of precision and clarity in the question, I have decided not to participate in today’s Daily Prompt.

FOWC with Fandango — Excuse

Fandango34 Comments

FOWCWelcome to September 4, 2020 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “excuse.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Please check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.