SoCS — Out, Out Damn Spot

EA0786EC-704A-4A1C-903E-A7250D007704Linda G. Hill has asked us to write about the word “spot” for this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt. All I had to do was look down at my shirt to know what to write about.

I admit that I am a food slob. No, that’s not a typo. I meant food slob and not food snob. Food has a magnetic-like attraction to my shirts. Rarely am I able to complete a meal without leaving telltale signs of that meal on my clothing. I think I missed that day in school when they taught us how to maneuver a food-filled fork or spoon from a plate to the mouth without dropping something on one’s shirt.

My wife puts some sort of powerful spot remover on my shirts (or pants) to get rid of those food stains. Unfortunately, even after pre-treating my shirts with her miracle spot remover, many of my shirts come out of the washing machine with faded spots of carelessly dropped foods still visible.

It’s embarrassing to be having dinner with people (other than my wife, who has come to accept all the food spots on my shirts) when others spot my food stain spots.

But one of the very few good things about the coronavirus pandemic and having to stay at home, is that virtually all of my meals since early March have been at home, where only my wife is a witness to my unique ability to wear what I eat after nearly every meal.

I’m almost dreading the day when I’ll be permitted to go out and dine at a restaurant around other people. First of all, given the various food stains and spots on nearly all the shirts I currently own, I’ll have to buy some new ones to wear outside of my home.

Since I’m too old to wear a bib, I feel like I ought to be proactive and label my shirts in advance.70122359-C570-4C42-ACF2-8B0E7D73A7DF

13 thoughts on “SoCS — Out, Out Damn Spot

  1. Wanda August 8, 2020 / 5:46 am

    I am happy to see someone else suffers from wearing your food. I was fine until I turned 60, then it was as if I couldn’t find my mouth. After ruining several tops I made myself a bib. Really I did. So now when I eat, there are no tell tale signs of my meals on my shirts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ruddjr August 8, 2020 / 6:07 am

    We used to go to Swiss Chalet after church as a family. Inevitably I would spill on my white dress shirt. Let me tell you red sauce has to be treated right away!! I have found that I can’t make it through a day without spilling food on myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. newepicauthor August 8, 2020 / 8:47 am

    I went to this nightclub in Hawaii and I ate a meal while watching the entertainers, who were really good. I big helping of potatoes slipped off my shirt and made a stain. The group selected me and some others for an Elvis karaoke session of heartbreak hotel. They put a wig on my head and gave me long sideburns and a cape. It was a lot of fun and I think that Elvis would have been proud of that stain on my shirt.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. ghostmmnc August 8, 2020 / 1:44 pm

    Same happens to me, and it never fails that I spill. No matter how many napkins I use to cover myself, the food will find a spot that is not covered and that’s where it lands. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. John Holton August 8, 2020 / 5:18 pm

    I can sympathize. Since my stroke, I drop stuff all over myself, because I eat with one hand (my off hand, no less).

    Liked by 1 person

  6. leigha66 August 10, 2020 / 12:47 am

    My boyfriend has issues with food and gravity as well.. I only occasionally wear my food.

    Liked by 1 person

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