This, That, and the Other

“I say, old chap, aren’t you overreacting a bit?” Graham asked as Peter shoved his shotgun into Graham’s chest.

“I think not, you scoundrel” Peter responded. “You have invaded my domain, abused the sanctity of my home, and had your way with my darling Beatrice. A man’s home is his castle and you have dared to breach the castle’s keep. I have no choice but to stand my ground.”

“You are an old fool, Peter,” Graham said, swatting away the shotgun. “I didn’t invade your castle, I was invited here by the lady of the manor. She has grown tired of you, bored by you, and has been seeking the thrill of an elicit relationship with a man of adventure such as myself.”

“You are a liar!” Peter exclaimed, lunging at Graham, placing his two hands around Graham’s neck, and squeezing.

“Stop it!” Beatrice screamed as she entered the room. “Let’s sit down and talk about this like civilized people.” She picked up a small bell from the coffee table and shook it. When the housekeeper responded, Beatrice instructed her to fetch some tea for the three of them. Then Beatrice motioned for the two men to sit down on the sofa and she took a chair opposite them. They sat in silence until the housekeeper served the tea.

When the housekeeper left the room, Peter broke the silence. “Beatrice, is it true? Did you invite this cad into our home?”

“Yes, Peter, I did,” Beatrice admitted. “Graham and I have establish a bond and while I will always love you, sweet Peter, there’s no passion, and passion is what I need and passion is what Graham is all about.”

“But my darling Beatrice,” Peter said, “this is our castle and I am the king and you are my queen.”

“Well, old chap,” Graham said, a triumphant smile gracing his face, “it looks like I am the new king of the castle having, ascended to the throne.”

Peter picked up his shotgun and fired two shots point blank at Graham and Beatrice, instantly killing them both. “The king is dead,” Peter said. “Long live the king.”

Written for Sandman Jazz’s Writing Challenge, where the starting point is the picture at the top of this post, and for Paula Light’s Thursday Inspiration, where the theme is “castle” and includes the image below.