For this week’s Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, Linda G. Hill has given us very specific directions. In fact, her prompt is the word “directions,” and she’s given us directions to “find a household cleaner, bottle of shampoo, something in the freezer, or anything you can find with instructions on it, then copy down a single direction (just one) on how to use, cook, etc. your chosen thing, and make it the first line or word of your post. Then keep writing whatever comes out.”
I was already in bed last night when I realized that I hadn’t yet picked out an item to use to satisfy this prompt, so I frantically went through my night table drawer looking for something — anything — with instructions on how to use the item printed on its label. And this is the only thing I found that actually had directions on it:Fortunately, I didn’t have to choose “a single direction (just one) on how to use” it because there is only a single direction on the item:“Apply as needed.” Simple and straightforward, right? And, in case I have questions about how to use the product, such as, “How do I use this product if it’s not needed?” or “What specific ‘flavor’ is the inactive ingredient?” the label helpfully provides a toll-free number to call! Sweet!
What I really appreciate about the directions for the Vaseline Lip Therapy is that it doesn’t insult my intelligence by telling me to “apply as needed to lips only.”
That is apparently not the case when it comes to the directions for how to use my underarm antiperspirant, which are quite specific:Can you imagine the trouble I might have gotten into had I used my underarm antiperspirant on some other part of my body. The idea makes me shake in fear, which might have been fine were I using my can of Scrubbing Bubbles.