Make Sheltering-in-Place More Tolerable

“It’ll be here before we know it,” Craig said.

“Dude, you’ve been saying that for three weeks now and they haven’t even given us a shipping date yet,” Alan pointed out.

“The demand is outpacing the supply since the lockdown began and the manufacturer can’t produce them fast enough,” Craig said.

“Dammit, Craig,” Alan said, “if you had ordered it when the stay-at-home mandate was first issued in mid-March, like I told you to, it would have been here by now.”

“But Trump said the virus would disappear like a miracle,” Craig said, defensively. “He also said the warm temperatures in April would kill it and that the country would reopen by Easter. And if that was the case, we wouldn’t have needed to order it.”

“Did any of that happen?”

“Well, no,” Craig admitted, “so that’s why I ordered it the Monday after Easter.”

“And so here we are in early May and we don’t even know when it will ship,” Alan lamented.

“Well, as they say, good things come to those who wait,” Craig said. “And look at this beautiful, state-of-the-art, realistic, Japanese sex doll.” He opened up his computer and showed Alan the image of what he ordered.3F31C0E8-D995-4DFB-BFC1-51AF4FC07362“Yeah, she’d be worth the wait, I suppose,”Alan admitted.

“And she’d make sheltering-in-place much more tolerable,” Craig added.


Written for Rachel Poli’s Time to Write Sentence Starter prompt, where the sentence is, “It’ll be here before we know it.”

10 thoughts on “Make Sheltering-in-Place More Tolerable

  1. Richmond Road May 2, 2020 / 3:47 pm

    But gee … isn’t there something terribly creepy about the very idea of a ‘sex’ doll? What makes it different from any other doll, really? I mean, you could have sex with Barbie if you were that way inclined (or Ken, of course)…
    Can you rape a sex doll? Is there some sort of consent in the fine print of the instructions? Are there instructions??? That’s even weirder, isn’t it, the idea that the purchaser might need operating instructions?
    I’m thinking that a sex doll might not make things more tolerable, actually, in these times of isolation but rather that it could only serve to increase one’s feelings of inadequacy and loneliness.
    No. I think hand sanitizer might, after all, be more useful.

    Like

    • Fandango May 2, 2020 / 11:30 pm

      Hmm. You’re probably right. It is kind of creepy. And maybe a bottle of sex doll sanitizer should accompany the purchase with instructions to clean thoroughly after each use.

      Like

      • Richmond Road May 3, 2020 / 3:37 am

        Well … you know … seriously. I’m only now really thinking how totally fucked up the whole concept of a sex doll is. The more life-like a sex doll is, the better it is, right? So the ultimate sex doll would be indistinguishable from a real woman except for the removal of the facility to say, “No. I’m not doing that, you sick fucker.”

        But sorry. I didn’t want to subtract anything from a post which was intended to be innocent and amusing (and was).

        Liked by 1 person

        • Fandango May 3, 2020 / 2:54 pm

          Given the way things are going, sex with a realistic sex doll or maybe, down the road, with a robot, may be the most common way of having sex. I’m glad I’m on old fart who still prefers sex the old fashioned way.

          Like

          • Marleen May 3, 2020 / 4:21 pm

            My understanding is things like this are very common in Japan. Dolls and other things or options we (most of us) would consider unusual.

            Liked by 1 person

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