A Very Special Delivery

B841FB41-8572-4D8E-9303-4A87946521D4“Was that a knock?” Brenda asked.

“Don’t answer it,” Dave insisted.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not expecting anyone.”

Brenda ignored Dave, went to their apartment door and looked through the peephole. “It’s the guy from Federal Express,” she called out to Dave. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“I have a delivery for you,” he said.

“Who’s it from, we weren’t expecting anything.”

“I don’t know, ma’am,” he responded. “I just deliver.”

“Okay, leave it by the door,” Brenda said.

“Fine,” he responded and walked away.

Brenda looked over at Dave. “Can you go out and get it?” she asked him.

Clearly annoyed, Dave got up and went to the door. He opened it, picked up the box, and brought it inside their apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. “Jeez, this is heavy,” he said.

Excited, Brenda examined the large package. She tore open the box and the started to squeal. Dave came running over to her. “Are you okay? What is it?”

“Oh my God,“ Brenda screamed. “This is a genuine Dyrpirh!”

“A what?”

“A Dyrpirh,” she said. “I told my mother we were running low on toilet paper and we are in the midst of this pandemic and can’t get any. She said she’d help us out. But instead of toilet paper, she sent us a freakin’ Dyrpirh!”

“But what is it?”

“What is it?” Brenda exclaimed. “It’s a state-of-the-art toilet-top bidet with a heated seat, temperature controlled water spray, and a warm air drying element. Who needs toilet paper when you have a Dyrpirh?” she gleefully said.


Written for two Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie prompts. The Tale Weaver Making Sense of Nonsense prompt where we’re asked to write a story using the nonsense word “Dyrpirh,” and the First Line Friday prompt where the first line is “Was that a knock?” Also for Fandango’s One-World Challenge (express).

21 thoughts on “A Very Special Delivery

  1. Marleen April 24, 2020 / 3:23 pm

    The people who lived in the house I’m in, before I moved in, we’re Muslim… from Qatar, I think. So, they had hand-held “bidets” by each toilet. I had the real estate agent go ahead and take the one out from the main-floor half bath (with wood flooring) before I moved in. The one in the master bath sprung a leak at some point, which then dripped onto the living room ceiling below (due to which the ceiling had to be repainted). I’m kinda tempted, though, by a Dyrpirh.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sadje April 24, 2020 / 3:59 pm

    This is perfect. Someone should invent it and sell it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. imagineambition April 24, 2020 / 7:21 pm

    That just doesn’t sound like a pleasant experience to me… Spraying water on that location.
    And can a litter water fountain truly clean all the messes that come from the human body? It feel like some things… Like dishes (need to be scrubbed) just need to be wiped clean

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango April 24, 2020 / 11:51 pm

      The sales of bidets skyrocketed when toilet paper became scarce.

      Like

  4. Taswegian1957 April 24, 2020 / 8:24 pm

    I read just yesterday that sales of bidets were on the rise since the TP shortages. However, they need to be installed properly so that the wastewater does not get mixed up with drinking water so plumbers must be doing well.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. leigha66 April 25, 2020 / 8:06 am

    This was great! Nonsense words are fun. Reminds me of the game Balderdash where you had to define a word.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Nima Mohan April 25, 2020 / 9:58 am

    You combined all three prompts in a special way . And you really made sense of the “Dyrpirh” word . Am amazed !!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Michael April 26, 2020 / 2:40 pm

    Very well done. Some months ago my brother installed a bidet which he is very pleased nowadays he did following an accident which badly injured his arm. Thanks for your contribution this week.

    Liked by 1 person

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