A Very Special Delivery

B841FB41-8572-4D8E-9303-4A87946521D4“Was that a knock?” Brenda asked.

“Don’t answer it,” Dave insisted.

“Why not?”

“Because we’re not expecting anyone.”

Brenda ignored Dave, went to their apartment door and looked through the peephole. “It’s the guy from Federal Express,” she called out to Dave. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“I have a delivery for you,” he said.

“Who’s it from, we weren’t expecting anything.”

“I don’t know, ma’am,” he responded. “I just deliver.”

“Okay, leave it by the door,” Brenda said.

“Fine,” he responded and walked away.

Brenda looked over at Dave. “Can you go out and get it?” she asked him.

Clearly annoyed, Dave got up and went to the door. He opened it, picked up the box, and brought it inside their apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. “Jeez, this is heavy,” he said.

Excited, Brenda examined the large package. She tore open the box and the started to squeal. Dave came running over to her. “Are you okay? What is it?”

“Oh my God,“ Brenda screamed. “This is a genuine Dyrpirh!”

“A what?”

“A Dyrpirh,” she said. “I told my mother we were running low on toilet paper and we are in the midst of this pandemic and can’t get any. She said she’d help us out. But instead of toilet paper, she sent us a freakin’ Dyrpirh!”

“But what is it?”

“What is it?” Brenda exclaimed. “It’s a state-of-the-art toilet-top bidet with a heated seat, temperature controlled water spray, and a warm air drying element. Who needs toilet paper when you have a Dyrpirh?” she gleefully said.

Written for two Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie prompts. The Tale Weaver Making Sense of Nonsense prompt where we’re asked to write a story using the nonsense word “Dyrpirh,” and the First Line Friday prompt where the first line is “Was that a knock?” Also for Fandango’s One-World Challenge (express).

U is for Use It

A2Z2020For this year’s A to Z Challenge I’m going to attempt to post an old saying or adage each day of the month of April (except for Sundays). I’m going through the alphabet, with the first letter of the adage beginning with the first letter of the alphabet (A) and continuing for 26 adages in alphabetical order until I get through the entire alphabet by April 30 — from A to Z.

I don’t know if it can be done, but I’m going to give it the old college try. Here’s my April 24th adage and it starts with the letter U.

Use it or lose it.

Fandango’s Friday Flashback — April 24

Wouldn’t you like to expose your newer readers to some of you earlier posts that they might never have seen? Or remind your long term followers of posts that they might not remember? Each Friday I will publish a post I wrote on this exact date in a previous year.

How about you? Why don’t you reach back into your own archives and highlight a post that you wrote on this very date in a previous year? You can repost your Friday Flashback post on your blog and pingback to this post. Or you can just write a comment below with a link to the post you selected.

If you’ve been blogging for less than a year, go ahead and choose a post that you previously published on this day (the 24th) of any month within the past year and link to that post in a comment.

This was originally posted on April 24, 2012 on my old blog.

Doing My Civic Duty

California state sealThe seal of the State of California was visible behind the clear window on the upper left side of the envelope. To the right of the seal were the words, “Superior Court of California, County of San Francisco.”

I didn’t have to open up the envelope to know that I had been summoned for jury duty. Are you kidding me? I just got my California driver’s license in October and only six months later I’m called for jury duty. Seriously?

The summons warned me that “Failure to respond to this summons will subject you to a fine, a jail term, or both.” Holy crap! That got my attention.

Get this. My jury service is for an entire week. It says right there on the summons. “YOU ARE ON CALL FOR THE ENTIRE WEEK.”

“You may be required to appear anytime during the week of your jury service. For information on when you are required to appear, call or visit the website every day for the duration of the one week of jury service and follow the instructions for each day.“

Okay, Superior Court of California, who writes that shit? “…call or visit the website….” Interesting. I’ve never before thought about picking up my phone and calling a website. Where can I find the website’s phone number?

But I digress. Being on call for the entire week pretty much means the whole freakin’ week will be shot. I won’t know until the night before if I need to show up the next day. Can’t really plan a whole lot when my jury duty is day-to-day.

one day one trialThere’s also a statement on the summons labeled “One-Day or One-Trial.” This means that a juror generally serves for either one day or for the duration of one trial.

Okay, maybe I’ll get called, go in for a day, and be done with it. That won’t be so bad.

But wait. What happens if I get stuck on the one trial thing? And if I do, what if that one trial lasts for more than a day? All week? Longer than a week?

What if it turns out to be a high-profile murder trial and the jury has to be sequestered at some sleazy hotel near the courthouse? That’s not exactly the greatest section of the city, you know.

What if I can’t bring my laptop with me? Or if I can, what if they won’t let me have internet access? What if I’m sequestered and am ordered to not discuss the details of the trial? What will become of my blog?

Well the good news is that my jury service doesn’t start for another two and a half weeks. I’ve got plenty of time to figure out how to get out of it.

Wait. What? No. I never said that.

FOWC with Fandango — Express

FOWCWelcome to April 24, 2020 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “express.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

  1. And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.