Did You Hear the Good News?

029391A6-5F0A-4437-8693-FECD20F144E1In case you haven’t heard it, I’ve got some great news for those of us who are practicing social distancing and are self-isolating. It’s all about practicing safe sex in the age of a deadly pandemic.

New York City’s Department of Health recently issued an advisory recommending masturbation during the pandemic. “You are your safest sex partner. Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and any sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after.”

So break out those bottles of body lotion and lubricants, and all those sex toys you keep hidden in your night table. Do yourself a favor, relieve that pent up stress brought about by coronavirus and isolation. And enjoy yourselves. Literally!

But don’t forget to wash your hands, cucumbers, bananas, and sex toys for 20 seconds before and after.

43A6389B-4966-4053-B74A-A152B2871F50By the way, word has it that Amazon is offering next day deliveries on long lasting batteries.

28 thoughts on “Did You Hear the Good News?

  1. Marleen April 7, 2020 / 3:00 pm

    I tried to get new batteries for a thermometer, within the last week… or else to buy a new thermometer. Couldn’t find the right batteries, nor any thermometer.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Stroke Survivor UK April 7, 2020 / 11:34 pm

    It’s kinda scary that people are spending time even to publish this stuff at the moment. Did you pick “idle hands” as one of your A-Zs? 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Melanie B Cee April 8, 2020 / 8:44 am

    😆 Try telling that news to many religious leaders who claim that kind of ‘love’ is forbidden and a sin. Personally (and TMI I know) I’ve had a lot of discussions over that activity since I became a widow. Sorry leaders the fire in the furnace didn’t go out, just because the person stoking the coal died. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango April 8, 2020 / 10:06 am

      I never heard that expression, but it is definitely the truth! 😂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Marleen April 8, 2020 / 12:33 pm

      One of my sons (my youngest one), off to college, found himself influenced by very conservative people. He started going to a church (I don’t know what kind). I’m pretty comfortable with fairly conservative people, but… I don’t know, is the difference being “fundamentalist”? At some point, he wasn’t so sure about a few things they were saying. I don’t remember the first thing he mentioned to me. But one of the things was that they were against masturbation. That, then, leads into them pressuring people to find someone to marry. I told him they were overboard.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Fandango April 8, 2020 / 3:05 pm

        Against masturbation? That’s crazy! 🤪

        Like

  4. Marleen April 18, 2020 / 2:13 pm

    I’m guessing this, in fact, has nothing to do with masturbation, but I had to share: https://apple.news/AHmY9zgt8QkyBHSKkmNTVHg
    Woman’s attraction to chandeliers not a sexual orientation, ruling says

    Amanda Liberty made complaint about article mocking declaration of love for light fitting

    Liked by 1 person

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