Caught Looking

Playboy MagazineEach month my father would bring home the latest issue of Playboy Magazine. As a kid about to enter my teen years, having a magazine in the house that had pictures of naked women in it piqued my interest, needless to say.

I managed to discover where my father hid the magazines and I would occasionally sneak into his office while he was at work. With unbounded zeal, I’d grab the magazine, take it to my bedroom, and plant myself in my bed to peruse the magazine.

I am not going to claim that I just read the articles. I definitely looked at the pictures of the beautiful women featured in the magazine. But what I did find a bit peculiar was that the crotch areas of the models were either hidden by demurely posed women or by what appeared to be airbrushed nether regions. Imagine my surprise when I first saw a real vagina and found out it wasn’t just a big blur.

But I digress. After I finished looking at all of the pulchritude on display in the photos, the next favorite section of the magazine was something called The Playboy Forum. Readers would send in these ribald tales of highly erotic sexual adventures. Those stories really got my juices flowing, so to speak.

Unfortunately for me, one day my father came home from work early, heard some, shall we say, interesting sounds coming from my bedroom, opened the door, and found me in a rather compromising position.

To say that he was angry would be a gross understatement. He was totally fried. He grabbed the magazine out of my hand, ran out of the room, and slammed the door hard.

My biggest fear was realized when I heard my mother call my name. Oh boy, I knew then that I was in real trouble. I had visions of being a poor, little field mouse about to be devoured by some reptilian-like creature.

Much to my surprise, my mother’s venom was directed toward my father, who was supposed to have had “the talk” with me, but never did. So in my mother’s eyes, I somehow turned into the victim with my father being the big, bad perpetrator.

Turns out that my mother didn’t know that my father was sneaking issues of Playboy Magazine into the house.

Oops!


Written for these daily prompts: The Daily Spur (zeal), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (plant), Your Daily Word Prompt (peculiar), Word of the Day Challenge (ribald), Daily Addictions (fried), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (reptilian).

Get the Hook

DE4F29E6-8D9D-4177-9B14-6703D2520D9AEric got up on the stage, grabbed the mic, and waited for the music to start. Then he began singing his own rendition of The Who’s “Going Mobile.”

It didn’t take long for the karaoke night audience, drunk and rowdy as usual, to start booing Eric’s performance. “You suck, dude, sit the fuck down!” one guy yelled. Another shouted, “Don’t quit your day job, buddy!” A third voice called out, “Get the hook!”

Frustrated, Eric stopped singing, dropped the mic, and made his way back to the table where his twin brother, Ed was sitting and nursing a mojito.

“Can you believe how rude these people are?” Eric said to his brother as he sat down and picked up his half-finished piña colada. “What a bunch of ungrateful boozers.”

“Well, I hate to throw even more shade your way, bro,” Ed said, “but you really did suck.”

Eric looked at his brother, shook his head, and said, “Well, at least I’m not too chicken to even give it a try.” Then Eric stood up, started flapping his arms like a chicken, and called out, “Cluck, cluck, cluck.”

At which point everyone at the karaoke joint also stood up and gave Eric a standing ovation.”


Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Di at Pensitivity101. The three things are “shade,” “brother,” and “mobile.”

Fandango’s Provocative Question #50

FPQWelcome once again to Fandango’s Provocative Question. Each week I will pose what I think is a provocative question for your consideration.

By provocative, I don’t mean a question that will cause annoyance or anger. Nor do I mean a question intended to arouse sexual desire or interest.

What I do mean is a question that is likely to get you to think, to be creative, and to provoke a response. Hopefully a positive response.

My provocative question today is a little different. It’s not political. It’s not about ghosts or beliefs, or even philosophy. It’s more personal.

Are you ready?

Would you be willing to give up everything you have if you could go back and start your life all over again? Why or why not?

If you choose to participate, write a post with your response to the question. Once you are done, tag your post with #FPQ and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

FOWC with Fandango — Plant

FOWCWelcome to November 27, 2019 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “plant.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

The issue with pingbacks not showing up seems to have been resolved, but you might check to confirm that your pingback is there. If not, please manually add your link in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.