Don’t Judge Me

Don’t you hate it when you’re going through the checkout line at the grocery store and the cashier runs your items through the scanner and then gives you a look that silently says, “Seriously, you’re buying this shit?”

That happened to me this morning when I purchased these items:DCFB1311-DA08-4A4B-A49E-0775F0047872Now before you, too, judge me, let me explain. We have a 14 year-old dog who is suffering from arthritis. So we have to get her to swallow two different capsules twice daily to provide some arthritis relief. Unfortunately, neither of the pills is chewable, so we’ve got to hide it in food that she will eat.

After much experimentation, we discovered that our dog likes Spam and Gerber’s chicken and turkey “sticks” (little sausages). So we poke holes in one or the other, insert the capsules inside of them, and beg her to eat the Spam or “sticks” with the embedded capsules, which she does, thus allowing us to solve the challenge of getting her to take her medicine.

And just for the record, I have never in my life knowingly eaten Spam, nor Gerber’s chicken or turkey sticks. So don’t you dare judge me by what’s in my shopping cart, thank you very much.

45 thoughts on “Don’t Judge Me

    • Fandango October 30, 2019 / 5:36 pm

      Yes I did. And I can definitely relate. In my case, though, it was more a non-verbal “tongue lashing” for purchasing them three cans of Spam. Who does that? I was getting ready to explain my purchases, but then I decided to just pay up and get out. I don’t need to explain myself to anyone, dammit!

      Liked by 3 people

  1. Marleen October 30, 2019 / 5:04 pm

    Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 🤣 !

    Liked by 1 person

  2. msjadeli October 30, 2019 / 5:05 pm

    Fandango, does she take them well when hidden in those tasty morsels? My ex used to put the pill in one piece but then hold another piece in his other hand. Chauncey saw two pieces for him, so he would gobble the pill piece down in anticipation of the second piece. It worked like a charm every time!

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Sadje October 30, 2019 / 5:22 pm

    You should have saved it do Monday Peeve. Paula has a similar post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Leonise October 30, 2019 / 5:24 pm

    Doh.😳 I am so guilty of cart shaming. Especially when I see someone with children who are obviously overweight and a cart filled with junk food, processed food, snack food and not a fresh vegetable in sight.

    I know. I shouldn’t cart shame. But as I see 9 year old boys with man boobs already or an 8 year old girl who has a muffin top the size of Trumps, I get irritated. These children are being set up for a lifetime of physical and emotional problems because their parents aren’t educating THEMSELVES about how to prevent transferring obesity from one generation to the next.

    And it’s costing out county billions in terms of health care, lost productivity, lack of cognitive development (sitting in front of the tv eating cheesy-poofs doesn’t make for much intellectual stimulation.)

    For the record, I like to think I would look at your spam and have fond memories of scrambled eggs and spam on Christmas morning (ok, in hindsight that is even more gross now that I’ve become this hateful food-Nazi.)

    I like to think I would smile and wonder what devious joke you were going to play on someone. Like the time I bought my father 60 packages of Raman noodles for his 60th birthday because after living on ramen in college, I could no longer stomach them but he loved them. He “discovered” ramen at about 58 and it had become a family joke. It was perhaps one of my better birthday gifts.

    I like to think that maybe I would think you were grabbing some “emergency food” – stuff you have in case you find yourself starving at 1AM and no real food in the house so you have something you can gulp down quickly without tasting, just to quiet your stomach so you can sleep.

    I like to think I would do something like that but in all honesty, I can’t be sure. I should write a post called “The Confessions of a Cart Shamer” with the hopes that admitting it is the first step toward overcoming it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango October 30, 2019 / 8:04 pm

      Don’t tell another soul, but, for the same reasons you cited, I, too, am guilty of seeing items in other shoppers’ carts and wonder what the hell they’re thinking. Perhaps that’s why I reacted the way I did and felt so self-conscious about all that Spam. Maybe it was my imagination that the cashier gave me the side-eye.

      In any event, I’d love to read your “ Confessions of a Cart Shamer” post!


      • Leonise October 30, 2019 / 11:12 pm

        I’ll work on it in the next few days. My blog is supposed to be about books but I’m finding so many interesting random things to write about. And the fact that anybody wants to *read* what I have to write is very uplifting and validating at a time when it is sorely needed.

        Your secret is safe with me.

        Is Cart Shaming something that one *should* try to get over? I think it does depend on the nature of the shaming. More to explore.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. drtanya@saltedcaramel October 30, 2019 / 7:15 pm

    Its nobody’s business what we put inside our shopping carts.
    I haven’t yet had this experience with store employees but other shoppers have done it to me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Leonise October 30, 2019 / 11:46 pm

      No, it’s not. But that’s why I think Cart Shaming is a hidden epidemic. I wonder what people thought of my cart full of nothing but raw fruit & veggies, power bars and seltzer water. And weighing in at 95. Much less later and not in a healthy weigh. (Do you see how I just did that? Used a pun to communicate powerfully?)

      Anyway, I got Cart Shamed – from the same people I was Cart Shaming back- that sounded a lot like “self-sanctimonious b****” in eyespeak. Oh- that’s another one- completely unintentional. Is it Eye Speak or Eyes Peak? (Ok, peak would be spelled wrong but still…)

      Anyway, I think there’s a war of silent Cart Shaming running rampant in groceries across the country. You can’t really respond because the Shamer hasn’t actually *said* anything (that’s the true talent – conveying the details of the shame with just your eyes.) And maybe to Fandango’s point, maybe the Shamee is just being self-conscious about what’s in the cart.

      Are there certain combinations that SHOULD be shamed? Like a bunch of cheap, crap food paired with a decent bottle of wine? What about buying a really expensive bottle of wine at a cheap grocery? I once bought a $78 bottle of wine and when I told the cashier that wasn’t a mis-price she was visibly flustered.

      I know I wanted to go back through her line when my brother in law sent me back to the store to buy as many more bottles as they had as it was *realky* good wine. I can’t remember if I did or not. That didn’t have anything to do with the wine – it was a red, one of the few varieties of alcohol Leonise didn’t abuse. That was a short list (shout out for eleventy years of sobriety without a single lapse!)

      Definitely need to flesh this topic out more. Stay tuned.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. ArtisanX October 30, 2019 / 7:20 pm

    Sometimes I put things together on the conveyor just to see the reaction of the clerk…. It’s amazing what reaction a cucumber and petroleum jelly can produce, imagine if Spam with Peanut butter were added in the mix😛

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Leonise October 30, 2019 / 11:06 pm

    I once put on the conveyer a BIG bottle of wine and a container of Monistat. I can’t think of anything else that goes with Monastat. 😬

    If I had been the checker I would have said “Oh. Yeah, good choice.” in a sympathetic tone. As it was, the 16 year old boy blessed with this task just turned a little red despite his best effort not react and was *extremely* polite. Which was a very good idea as an outburst of seemingly random violence could have easily occurred.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango October 30, 2019 / 11:24 pm

      I would think a big bottle of wine and some Monistat makes perfect sense. Like when I bought a six-pack of beer and a tube of Preparation H.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Leonise October 30, 2019 / 11:52 pm

        Agreed. Sometimes there isn’t any other way. Though now that Leonise doesn’t drink alcohol anymore (if you were wondering about the cause of that HUGE sigh of relief you heard in August of 2008, it was Leonise saying -and doing- “I quit.”) it’s usually a quart of Bryers Carmel Vanilla Gelato. That’s almost as bad for Leonise as the big bottle of Pino Grigio. Dang. Another post topic – the value of harm reduction in a cultural dichotomy of drinking some amount or being completely abstinent.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Fandango October 31, 2019 / 11:05 am

          You’re certainly getting a lot of fodder for future posts.


          • Leonise November 15, 2019 / 4:24 pm

            Too much methinks! Need someone to do the housekeeping bc the previous bitch quit with no notice. Oh wait. That was me. Dammit.

            Liked by 1 person

      • Leonise October 30, 2019 / 11:56 pm

        By the way, I love your avatar. In that clowns are scary and scary clowns are terrifying way. I don’t know if that was your intent but if it was, well played. Leonise needs to work on hers. That is the famous Ashley von Milkenstine Lowdermilk, aka Ash aka Little Puff. She has more Twitter followers than the mommy. She is a magical little blue kitty that needs her own tag and category.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. waywardsparkles October 30, 2019 / 11:34 pm

    Is it wrong that when our dog, Buddy, is especially good, I give him a can of Vienna sausages? He loves them. Also, I enjoy eggs and Spam on rare occasion. It’s a definite childhood throwback! I could care less whether people judge my cart. Got too many other things to worry about! Fun post! 🙃 Mona

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango October 30, 2019 / 11:39 pm

      The Gerber’s turkey sticks are similar to Vienna sausages, but for some reason our dog prefers the baby food. As to Spam, um, no, not for me. Uh uh. I’m not into “mystery meat.”


    • Leonise October 30, 2019 / 11:59 pm

      You are a better person than I. 😕 No sarcasm or snark intended. Pure respect.

      Maybe I Cart Shame others to distract myself from the train wreck that is my life.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Stroke Survivor UK October 31, 2019 / 1:15 am

    Hahaha. I’m sure I’ve seen Spam here. I don’t think I ever tried it but did have various tinned foods as a child. I remember ham, which I suppose must be similar, and also burgers from tins. I also remember that they were lovely, although I dread to think what was in them.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. pensitivity101 October 31, 2019 / 9:04 am

    Used to buy spam by the tray every month as it was so versatile! and not just to tempt the dog to take her meds!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Leonise October 31, 2019 / 10:05 am

      Shudder. I guess everyone has their likes and dislikes but since I have never gotten a definitive answer on what, exactly, Spam *is*, I cannot eat it. Even if I did get an answer to that question, I still don’t think I could it it. It has crunchy things in it. It’s just gross! I so hope your comment about its “versatility” were meant to be satirical.

      Liked by 1 person

      • pensitivity101 October 31, 2019 / 11:49 am

        we used it for sweet and sours and breakfasts, but don’t buy it now as it got too expensive for what it is. I cook from scratch and use more chicken or pork now

        Liked by 1 person

      • Fandango October 31, 2019 / 12:37 pm

        My dog likes it. It’s a pork/ham product. It has lots of fat and a boatload of sodium. I tried the low-sodium variety for my dog, but she literally stuck her nose up at it. I don’t think it has anything crunchy it it, though. Other than my dog’s pill that I hide in a slice.


  11. crushedcaramel October 31, 2019 / 3:52 pm

    I love it when people have trash in their shopping basket….it makes me feel so righteous!!!

    Because I see the same cashier everytime I go in (he is always on duty when I finish work) I have become a bit paranoid about putting any naughties into my shopping basket – I mean cakes, biscuits or crisps. I end up only buying veggies and rice.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango October 31, 2019 / 4:32 pm

      So you regular cashier has shamed you into eating healthy. Good for him! 😏

      Liked by 1 person

      • crushedcaramel October 31, 2019 / 4:33 pm

        Yes…I will thank him when I fit into my cocktail dress for an event I am going to in January.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. October 31, 2019 / 6:14 pm

    There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. You’re taking very good care of your fur baby. Whatever means necessary, you go with it. I hope your baby feels better. 🐶💗

    Liked by 1 person

  13. leigha66 November 1, 2019 / 4:20 pm

    The best combination I ever saw as a cashier… chocolate syrup, whipped cream and new sheets. I think they were planning a special weekend. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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