Shear Madness

F69C392F-9B93-4C55-8672-D5F8E65E6F58Sam was Pharaoh’s head shepherd. He loved his job and was very good at it. But one day, when Pharaoh was surveying his flock, Pharaoh noticed that one of his sheep was in desperate need of being sheared. Pharaoh found Sam and said, “What’s with that wooly sheep, Sam? Take care of it!”

Sam went to see his number two head shepherd. “Matty,” Sam said, “Pharaoh is not at all pleased to see all that wool on that very wooly sheep. Take care of it!”

“Yes sir, right a way sir,” Matty said, and he went to find his assistant, Hatty. When he found her, Matty told Hatty “Get you someone really to pull the wool with you.”

“But, Matty,” Hatty said, “let’s don’t take no chance. That wooly sheep is a bully. He won’t let no one with a pair of shears get anywhere near him.”

“Then I’ll have to do it myself,” Matty said. “Get me a pair of shears.”

The two of them approached the wooly bully, but when the sheep saw them getting near to it, it stated to charge them. “Here it comes, here it comes,” yelled Hatty. “Watch it now, it’ll get you.”

Matty and Hatty ran away from the sheep before it could ram them. They went and found Sam to tell him that they were unable to shear the wooly bully.

Sam was pissed. “Give me the damn shears,” he said. “If you want to do something right, you have to do it yourself,” he muttered, and he went off to find that stupid wooly bully.

That was the last time anyone ever saw Sam. The shears were found in a field and the wooly bully was standing on the crest of a hill.

When Pharaoh found about about what happened to Sam, he was livid. “This is shear madness,” he bellowed. “I always knew that Sam was a sham!”

Uno, dos, one, two, tres, quatro
Hey! Wooly bully, watch it now, watch it.
Here it comes, here it comes.
Watch it now, it’ll get you.
Matty told Hatty about a thing she saw.
Had two big horns and a wooly jaw.
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.
Hatty told Matty,
“Let’s don’t take no chance.
Let’s not be L-seven, come and learn to dance.”
Wooly bully, wooly bully
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.
Watch it now, watch it, watch it!
YEAHHHH! Jive, jive!
Matty told Hatty,
“That’s the thing to do.
Get you someone really to pull the wool with you.”
Wooly bully, wooly bully.
Wooly bully, wooly bully, wooly bully.
Watch it now, watch it, here it comes!
You got it, you got it.

Written for the Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge. Photo credit: Julien Tabet. And thanks to Jim Adams for spurring me to write this post.

23 thoughts on “Shear Madness

  1. msjadeli August 7, 2019 / 11:10 am

    That was funny, Fandango, especially the part where they found the shears and wooly bully on the hill.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. crushedcaramel August 7, 2019 / 12:06 pm

    lol – that was fun!

    I thought the Eqyptians were a bit adverse to sheep, would Pharoah have gone near them?
    I ignore me btw…my brain is just a bit fried from thinking about your #FPQ

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango August 7, 2019 / 1:17 pm

      I guess I should have done some homework on ancient Egyptians and sheep. Oh well, live and learn. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Fandango August 7, 2019 / 3:54 pm

        I knew what you meant, so no worries. 😁


  3. newepicauthor August 7, 2019 / 1:34 pm

    This is a very funny story and I will never be able to listen to that song again without thinking about your tale. Matty told Hatty Wolly Bully you got it!

    Liked by 2 people

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