3-2-1 Quote Me! — Positive Outlook

FBCC55C2-6314-488D-B116-B7B1FB5F0412Cyranny, over at Cyranny’s Cove, tagged me for the 3-2-1 Quote Me! prompt that originated with the ever-inventive Rory. The challenge this time is two come up with two quotes about a positive outlook. This is different from the last 3-2-1 Quote Me! prompt, which was about attitude.

My first quote is my own. I had recently graduated from college and the war in Vietnam was raging. In order to avoid being drafted, I enlisted in the army reserves. I was shipped to Fort Polk, Louisiana for basic infantry training and I hated it. At one point I said to my drill sergeant, “I hate this fucking place.”

He suggested that I would be better off if I embraced a more positive outlook. “Fine,” I said,

“I’m positive that I hate this fucking place.”

That positive outlook got me assigned to KP for a week.

Okay, now for a more positive quote. Let’s see. How about this one from some anonymous source?

“A positive outlook may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!”

Yeah, I like that one.

Okay.  Now that my two quotes are out of the way, I’m supposed to tag three other bloggers to share two quotes each about what positive outlooks they have. However, I’m positive that I’m not going to do that. Instead, anyone who wants to play Rory’s game is invited to do so!

Come on, folks, let’s see some of that positive outlook of yours first hand.

MLMM Photo Challenge — Rescue Dog

6AC0F8C4-0C05-4D70-8234-FFAFA7DFACA1Doug and his wife, Dorothy, had finally decided to get a dog, and they agreed that they should adopt a rescue dog. So they headed to the local animal shelter and met with a member of the staff to review the process of adoption. They filled out all of the paperwork and answered all of the staff member’s questions.

“Okay,” the staff member said, “You have gotten to the stage where it’s time for you to pick out the dog you would like to adopt. Meet me outside by the pen and I’ll bring the dogs out there for you to make your selection.”

Doug and Dorothy we’re so excited at finally being able to select a dog to bring home with them. But when they got outside, they were surprised to see nearly two dozen dogs lined up and staring up at them with their sad, expressive, and hopeful eyes, all intently focused on the couple.

“Oh, Doug,” Dorothy said, “with so many adorable dogs to choose from, how can we pick out just one? I want to take them all home with us. This is really hard.”

“I know what you mean, sweetie,” Doug said. “This reminds me of that time when I went to the Bunny Ranch in Nevada and they lined up all those gorgeous prostitutes and I had to choose just one. That was really hard.”

Dorothy looked over at her husband in disbelief. “Yeah, I bet that was a hard one for you, you bastard.” She spun around, marched to their car, started it, and drove off.”

Doug shrugged his shoulders, looked at the shelter’s staff member, and said, “I guess there are some memories are best left unspoken.”

Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Photo Challenge prompt. Photo credit: Google Images.

The New Manager’s First Day

43FE191A-36BB-40D3-9E0F-29F27FAF4A45Millie put down the piece of chalk, stood back, and admired the elegant script she used to list the special salads on the blackboard for the hotel’s organic café. “Uh oh,” she said to herself when she realized she had failed to include “Under New Management” on the blackboard. That is not something she wanted to omit, given that this was her first day on the job as the café’s manager.

The previous manager had been fired when it was discovered that, in order to save money, he had used non-organic foods in the café. For example, he would fill bottles labeled as organic cooking oil with cheaper, non-organic oil. He was a cheater and Millie was bound and determined to make a good impression on her first day.

A woman stepped into the café and sat down at a table. Millie went to greet her, pointed to the blackboard, and asked her what she would like. “I’ll have the chef salad with oil and vinegar on the side,” the woman said. “And a cup of tea,” she added.

“Coming right up,” Millie said with a smile.

A few minutes later, Millie delivered the tea and the salad with dressing on the side. “Is there anything else I can bring you?”

“Thanks,” the woman said. “I’m all set.”

As Millie headed back toward the kitchen she heard the woman scream. Millie turned around to see her gagging. “Are you trying to poison me?” the woman said. She then stood up and literally ran out of the café.

Confused, Millie went back into the kitchen to check the ingredients used in the chef salad. Everything looked fine. And then she discovered the note from the fired manager. It read, “Ran out of organic salad oil, but fortunately was able to find a can of motor oil in the garage. Good luck on your first day, bitch.”

Written for Paula Light’s Three Things Challenge, where the three things are “black,” “hotel,” and “cheater.” Also for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Prompt (chalk), Your Daily Word Prompt (omit), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (oil), and Word of the Day Challenge (tea).

T is for Trite Talk

E2B6D45A-10E0-4A92-8F8E-A8794EFA34A1“It is what it is and I can’t cry over spilled milk,” I said. “But I should have been able to read between the lines.”

“Listen to yourself, dude. You’re being trite,” he said. “You’re speaking in stale, overused clichés.”

“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist,” I said.

“Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning,” he responded.

“Nonsense,” I said. “I don’t have a care in the world. In fact, I’m having the time of my life.”

“Good, because every cloud has a silver lining,” he said.

“Tell me something I don’t already know,” I said, nodding my head in agreement. “At the end of the day, all’s fair in love and war, I suppose.”

“I know you were head over heels in love with her,” he said, “but time heals all wounds.”

“The handwriting was on the wall,” I acknowledged. “And while she was a diamond in the rough, all that glitters is not gold.”

“I’m sure you’ll land on your feet when all is said and done,” he said.

“I feel you, and the good news is that laughter is the best medicine,” I said. “I am a man who believes that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.”

“True dat, my friend,” he said. “Every cloud has a silver lining.”

I looked at my watch. “Oh my, will you look at the time,” I said. “Time flies when you’re having fun, but I have things to do, places to go, and people to see. ”

“Okay, pal, you hang in there,” he said, sticking out his hand for me to shake. “And remember, it’s always darkest right before the dawn.”

“Good talk, buddy,” I said, shaking his outstretched hand. “I’m feeling fit as a fiddle, and, while only time will tell, I am sure I’ll land on my feet.”

“Keep on truckin’,” he called out as I left the room.1D9C47C7-4AB2-46CB-86EF-D507629F0346

Previous A to Z Challenge 2019 posts:

Twittering Tales — The Space Walk

18649ca4-f5b3-40e3-9c57-59a93da02e07.jpegIt seems so real. Like I’m actually floating weightlessly outside of the ship. This virtual reality experience is amazing.

Wait. It’s getting cold. I’m having trouble breathing. Is this VR thing safe? Vision’s getting blurry. My lungs! The pressure! Can’t breathe! TURN IT OFF!

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Written for this week’s Twittering Tales prompt from Kat Myrman. Photo credit: WikiImages at Pixabay.com.