MLMM Sunday Writing Prompt — Everyday Objects

e9301ce7-05aa-4c3e-8b00-a20433e8bc13.jpeg“Oh yes, sage Uncle,” Billy said, his voice oozing with sarcasm, “regale us with your magical tricks. I can barely contain my enchantment over the wondrous things you will be sharing with us.

“Oh ye of little faith,” Uncle Scott said. “I promise you that what I will be showing you will pique your interests.”

“Come on, Billy,” his younger brother, Dennis, said. “Let’s see what Uncle Scott wants to show us.”

“Fine,” Billy said to Dennis. “It’s just that he’s nothing but a two-bit hustler and he makes my blood boil.”

“Yeah, Billy boy, don’t be such a cynic,” Scott said. “Now I need you two to come up with two everyday objects for my little demonstration. Dennis, let me have your fidget spinner. And Billy, hand me your iPhone.”

“No way,” Billy objected, “that I’m going to give you my iPhone.”

“Oh Billy,” Dennis said, “give it to him. It’ll be fun.”

Billy reluctantly handed his iPhone to his Uncle. With fidget spinner and iPhone in hand, Uncle Scott put them on the coffee table and covered them up with a hand towel. “Now watch this, nephews,” Uncle Scott said. “I’m going to recite an ancient Celtic incantation and these two everyday objects will vanish into thin air.”

“Wait!” Billy yelled. “You’re going to make my iPhone disappear. No way.”

“Don’t you trust me, kid?” Uncle Scott asked.

“Fine,” Billy said. “Just don’t break it.”

Uncle Scott began chanting in some language that neither Billy nor Dennis understood. When he finished, he pulled the hand towel away and the iPhone and fidget spinner were missing.

“Cool!” Squealed Dennis.

“Great,” said Billy unenthusiastically. “So where did they go?”

“Well, boys,” Uncle Scott said, “Truth be told, I know the incantation to make everyday objects disappear, but I haven’t quite figured out the one that can make them reappear.”

“Son of a bitch,” Billy muttered. “I knew it.”


Written for Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Sunday Writing Prompt (everyday objects) and for these daily prompts: Ragtag Daily Promot (sage), Swimmers (us), Your Daily Word Prompt (enchantment), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (pique), and Word of the Day Challenge (blood).

Wrongly Accused

00D8BC20-CF5B-4D27-80D1-5478FE636335I, Fandango Fivedotoh, have been wrongly accused of the murder of Lady D by Inspector Li. As I will explain in this deposition before Police Captain Rory, all of the evidence of my alleged act is speculative and circumstantial and I am being framed for a heinous crime that I did not commit.

Lady D, the victim, was putting on a big fashion show at the Mount Vixen Ski Resort, where I happen to be skiing naked, as I am won’t to do, on a few occasions since arriving here with my wife, who is doing a stand up comedy show at the resort. As a strong proponent of naturism, and as someone who spends most of his time in the altogether, I do not follow the fashion industry and have no interest in fashion shows. In fact, I had never even heard of, much less ever seen, Lady D. What possible reason could I have to murder her?

Inspector Li claims that my wife, Britchy, had been victimized by Spacey, who was charged but never prosecuted. And while it’s true that Spacey did victimize her, that was many years ago and she is so over it. But Inspector Li claims that I “went off the deep end” when I heard Lady D on Poddy’s podcast bragging Spacey up. The inspector alleges that I decided, upon hearing that podcast, to serve up justice cold.

The inspector then claims that I had seen Ms. KK out on the biathlon range and knew she had a rifle. While Ms. KK was in the lounge, I allegedly slipped her key card out of her purse and took her rifle from her room. My plan, the inspector further alleges, with no evidence whatsoever, by the way,  was to “take out” one of the pro-Spaceys in town. The morning, after I heard the podcast, Inspector Li claims that is when I decided to target Lady D. And so I supposedly slipped into town and climbed the tower in Town Square and waited for my opportunity to shoot and kill someone I’d never heard of.

First of all, I never listen to podcasts. And why would I choose to listen to a podcast with someone who is a fashion aficionado when, as a naturist, I have zero interest in fashion?

Second, where is the physical evidence? Has the rifle allegedly used in the shooting been found so that it can be checked for fingerprints? No, it has not.

Third, the resort’s lodge has security cameras all over the place, including the lounge and the sleeping floors. Show me any tapes where I can be seen stealing a key card from Ms. KK’s handbag or entering into her room. There are no such tapes.

And fourth, I have airtight alibis, having been seen by many on the slope the night before and relaxing in the hot tub when this crime took place.

There is no physical evidence whatsoever that would justify my arrest. No murder weapon, no fingerprints, no video tapes, nothing. Not even a motive, since neither my wife nor I care about Spacey. Nor do I listen to podcasts, give a shit about fashion, or know who Lady D was.

The fact is, Captain Rory, that you put a lot of pressure on Inspector Li make an arrest and to close this case. Who better than a naked skier and the husband of a stand up comic known for her raunchy jokes? We are strangers and we are scapegoats. I am being set up to take the fall for a crime I did not commit. You have no basis to hold me and I demand that you release me immediately.

I rest my case.

This Is My Life

EDAF4F9D-1EAA-4C58-B580-45DF5B4809FCI am standing alone on the deck of a giant cruise ship.
I am looking out toward the horizon.
I am looking west and watching the sunset.
Or am I looking east and watching the sunrise?
I’m not sure.
All I see is the ocean.
Everywhere.
All around me.
I don’t know which way this ship is heading.
Or from which way it came.
I am unable to get my bearings.

This is my life.

(Exactly 74 words)


A09947C0-C393-403C-94DC-CA576114D568Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where we are challenged to write a poem or piece of prose using the word “horizon” in exactly 74 words.

1F8AE82E-D4B7-418D-B464-FE9C60B08991Also written for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write: Set the Scene prompt, where we are challenged to write a story based in the setting of “a cruise ship.”

Song Lyric Sunday — Down By The River

Jim Adam, who is filling in for Helen Vahdati in the Song Lyric Sunday prompt gave us “River/Stream/Creek/Brook” as this week’s theme. I have no doubt that this song by Neil Young, “Down By The River,” will be chosen by quite a few bloggers this week.

The song was written by Neil Young and was released on his 1969 album with Crazy Horse, Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere.

The song’s refrain, “Down by the river/I shot my baby/Down by the river,” suggests that the song is about a murder. But according to Young, it’s not. “It’s about blowing your thing with a chick. See,” he said, “now in the beginning, it’s ‘I’ll be on your side, you be on mine.’ It could be anything. Then the chick thing comes in. Then at the end it’s a whole other thing. It’s a plea…a desperation cry.”

But at a live concert in New Orleans, Young introduced the song by saying, “I’d like to sing you a song about a guy who had a lot of trouble controlling himself. He let the dark side side come thru a little too bright.” Then, Young goes on to the describe the murder, the killer’s arrest and, finally, the guilt he feels as he realizes what he’s done.

Some fans believe that the song is really a metaphor for some addictive drug. The notion is that it’s about banishing this addiction.

An interesting side note is that, according to the liner notes to his 1977 Greatest Hits album, Decade, Young said that he wrote this song, as well as “Cinnamon Girl” and “Cowgirl In The Sand,” in one day while sick with a high fever.

Here are the song’s lyrics.

Be on my side. I’ll be on your side, baby.
There is no reason for you to hide.
It’s so hard for me staying here all alone,
When you could be taking me for a ride.

She could drag me over the rainbow,
Send me away.

Down by the river,
I shot my baby.
Down by the river.

Dead, ooh, ooh, shot her dead, ooh.

You take my hand, I’ll take your hand.
Together we may get away.
This much madness is too much sorrow.
It’s impossible to make it today.

She could drag me over the rainbow,
Send me away.

Down by the river,
I shot my baby.
Down by the river.

Dead, dead, ooh, ooh, shot her dead, shot her dead.

Be on my side. I’ll be on your side.
There is no reason for you to hide.
It’s so hard for me staying here all alone,
When you could be taking me for a ride.

She could drag me over the rainbow,
Send me away.

Down by the river,
I shot my baby.
Down by the river.

Down by the river,
I shot my baby.
Down by the river.

Down by the river,
I shot my baby.
Down by the river.

FOWC with Fandango — Pique

FOWCWelcome to February 10, 2019 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “pique.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.