Who Me?

4b37296c-ceaf-4c78-aaac-a83bb116c500

Rory is at it again. He makes a bunch of statements and we’re supposed to respond with either “On No Way” or “Oh So Way,” depending upon whether or not we did do or didn’t ever do whatever he stated.

So let’s do this.

Smoked a joint

Who me? Oh so way.337c1af8-2613-49a6-9302-7184963967a9

Gone commando [underwear free]

As I explained here, oh so way.

Attended a naughty film at the cinema

Who me? Oh so way.c79c861f-6220-418a-88de-67e0b7722d42

Skipped school when younger/now

Seriously? Who didn’t? Oh so way.

Made a prank call

Me calling the drugstore on the phone: “Do you have Sir Walter Raleigh in a can?”
Drugstore employee: “Yes.”
Me: “You better let him out.”

Kissed the corner of a pillow

What am I missing? Is there some sort of sexual innuendo that I’m not getting? Obviously no way.

Been Drunk with your parents

My parents didn’t drink, so no, not with my parents. Now ask me if I’ve ever been drunk in front of my parents. Never mind. Don’t ask.

Sexted

Does sending a sexy instant message on AOL back in the day count? If so, way. If not, no way.e4347e9f-4782-49a8-a9f3-49060696daec

Relationship with a work colleague

Duh. Oh so way! 😱

Been robbed, burgled, hustled, or scammed

Yes, yes, yes, and yes.

Placed a bet – as in gambling

Of course.

Gotten lost going around a corner

Um, getting lost going around a corner, no. Forgetting why I was going around a corner, yes.

Stuck my chewing gum anywhere except the bin

Who me?848543d5-924e-4576-b42c-7d1ee9a5996e

Fixer-Upper

f49e5d99-0189-420a-898b-8c7cf547e3ef“What do you think of this place?” Malcolm, the real estate broker, asked the couple.

“I don’t like the neighborhood, Malcolm,” Alice said. “There was a vagrant man who was urinating in the alley around the corner. Just the memory of seeing that is haunting me.”

“It’s a neighborhood in transition,” Malcolm admitted. He then turned to Jesse. “What was your impression?”

“I think this place has a lot of issues,” Jesse said. “First of all, all that slime in that one corner of the basement makes me think that there are some water leakage woes that would need to be addressed.”

“We can get a contractor in to give you an estimate for that,” Malcolm suggested. “Anything else?”

“Yes,” Jesse responded. “I’m the cook in the family, and this house has an electric range. That’s a deal breaker. I cook only with gas.”

“I can find out what it will cost to put in a gas line,” Malcom said.

“Can you show us something in a better neighborhood that is more turnkey?” Alice asked.

Malcolm sighed, wondering to himself why he chose to work in real estate. “Sure,” Malcolm said. “But if you don’t want a fixer-upper in a transitional neighborhood, you’re going to have to at least double your budget.”


Written for these daily prompts: Michael’s Writing Prompts (Malcolm), Ragtag Daily Prompt (vagrant), Word of the Day Challenge (haunting), Your Daily Word Prompt (slime), Daily Addictions (woe), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (range).

Tell the Story — Jellyfish Dreams

1d0986e9-beac-4cf3-9395-657d6c28caf6It didn’t go exactly as their father had planned. The idea was to take the twins to the Chesapeake Bay for the long, holiday weekend. The twins had never been there and Dan was sure they would love playing on the beach and enjoy frolicking in the calm, warm water.

It never occurred to Dan that the shallow bay water off the short pier near the cottage he rented would be filled with jellyfish. He heard their screams and ran out to the end of the pier, jumped into the water, and pulled out his two children. They were covered by the stinging jellyfish. In the process, Dan, too, got stung.

Dan rushed the twins back to the cottage, washed them off, poured vinegar over the areas that were stung, and then spread some hydrocortisone cream on them.

After they calmed down, Dan sat the twins in front of the TV and turned on the SyFy channel, since they both loved science fiction movies. “We’re in luck,” Dan told the twins. “‘Close Encounters of the Third Kind’ is on.” Eventually, both kids fell asleep in front of the TV, as did Dan.

He recalled when he woke up having a weird dream where the twins were standing on the shoreline and a giant spaceship, sort of like the one in the movie, was hovering above the water. But instead of being some kind of aliens spacecraft, it was a giant, semi-transparent jellyfish, complete with tentacles hanging from its bell.

One of the twins woke up and said to his father, “I had a dream, Daddy. It was a moonlit night and we were standing by the shoreline and a giant jellyfish came floating toward us out of the sky.”

“I had the same dream,” the other twin said.

“Whoa,” said Dan.


Teresa, The Haunted Wordsmith, tagged me for this Tell the Story Challenge. I’m technically supposed to pick a new image and pick three other bloggers to tell their story about the picture. So I’m offering up this image below, but I’m going to open it up to any blogger who wants to run with it. Have fun.55c4dc27-bec2-4723-9e9e-250221c045de

JusJoJan — Zoomie?

I’m not easily stumped, but today’s word from Linda G. Hill’s Just Jot it January prompt is “zoomie.” My iPhone’s autocorrect keeps changing it to “zoomed,” which is understandable — because “zoomie”? Seriously? The word “zoomie” was suggested by Bee Halton at The Bee Writes.

I had to go to Google to find out that “zoomie” has multiple meanings. First, it’s an Air Force term for any graduate of the United States Air Force Academy at Colorado Springs. It’s also a slang term other military branches use to describe any Air Force personnel.f929a994-9ade-4d6a-bc59-bb67ba636e83Second, it’s a term to describe when a dog has an episode typically described as a wild run that seemingly comes out of nowhere and lasts for a few minutes at most. The dog runs around the house like crazy, jumping on the couch, running up and down the stairs, and all around and over the house.

And then there’s also a toy robot dog that is named “Zoomie.” 1fd49eb4-a489-4aa8-b50d-8710f76b5291Who knew?