Well I Have Never…Or Have I?

f67b4f1c-f210-48f5-93b0-f20fe5dc1e73Rory saw something on “The Ellen Show” and he decided to have a go with it on his blog. It begins with a simple statement that starts “Never have I ever….” The participants in the game respond with either “I Have” or “I Have Never.”

So Rory has posed a series of “Never have I ever” statements and has asked us to simply post one of those two responses, as applicable.

Here goes:

Never have I ever taken a sexy selfie.

I have. But, no, I am not going to share it with you.

Never have I ever kissed a celebrity.

I have never.

Never have I ever been kicked out of a bar.

I have. The Devonshire Bar & Grill.

Never have I ever been asked to leave a church.

I have. Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve. Not this past Christmas Eve. It was way, way back when I was in high school.

Never have I ever ridden a motorbike.

I have. I have owned and ridden three different motorcycles through the years. Do they count as “motorbikes”?

Never have I ever have a l farted in public.

I have. Both accidentally and intentionally.

Never have I ever have l lied to get a job.

I have never.

Never have I ever been nude skiing.

I refuse to answer this questions on the grounds that it’s self-incriminating.

Never have I ever eaten a fried witchitty grub.

I have never. At least not to the best of my knowledge, since I have no idea what a fried witchitty grub is.

Never have I ever peed in the shower.

I have. Every time I take a shower.

All in the Family

382fabbe-624f-49ef-afef-8d5ff3cdefc4“Well, Becky,” the man said to Rebecca, “you’ve certainly changed since the last time I saw you. You were, I think, maybe ten of eleven at the time and a spoiled, immature girl who I thought would surely end up sad and alone. But look at you now. You’ve gone through quite a metamorphosis from an ugly caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly.”

“It’s Rebecca,” she said, a bitter coldness in her voice. “I remember you. Your unwanted and inappropriate advances toward me, ugly caterpillar that you claim I was, created a lot of turbulence in my young life. You almost broke me and I still hold a lot of resentment directed toward you for what you did to me.”

“Becky,” he said, “I gave you attention when no one else would. I touched you in a way no other man would. You should be thanking me for what I did for you.”

“I will thank you to lumber your fat, old, ugly ass to your car and to motor you way back to whatever hole you live in and to stay out of my life forever,” Rebecca said. “If I ever see you again, I promise I will tell the police, the newspapers, and anyone who will listen exactly what you did to me when I was not even 12 years old. I will totally ruin your sad and depraved life just as you almost ruined mine.”

“Fine,” he said. “Just promise you won’t ever tell your mother.”

“My mother knows. Why did you think she hasn’t spoken to you in two decades, Uncle Bob?”


Written for these one-word prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (immature), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (metamorphosis), Michael’s Writing Prompt (turbulence), Your Daily Word Prompt (resentment), Ragtag Daily Prompt (lumber), and Daily Addictions (motor).

Share Your World — Oops

Ugh. I was in the middle of drafting this post and before I even started answering Melanie’s Share Your World questions, the damn draft somehow got published. Yikes. So before that happens again, let’s get to it.

Did you have to help out with chores when you were growing up?  If so, what were you assigned to do?

Of course. I wasn’t a spoiled brat. I had to keep my room clean, make my bed every day, wash the dinner dishes, mow the lawn in the summer, and shovel the snow in the winter.

Have you ever researched your family tree?   What do you know about your family’s roots? 

No, not formally. I’m a first generation American, so everything I know about my family’s roots came from my parents. Unfortunately, they didn’t share too much of their families’ histories with me, so my knowledge of my family tree only goes back to my grandparents.

What’s your cure for hiccups?

The good news is that I rarely get them. And when I do, I hold my breath for as long as I can, and when I do that, my hiccups stop.4476f726-8609-4a3a-a780-2e6e84570b5a

What makes you roll your eyes every time you hear it?  Either figuratively or literally?

Donald Trump. Figuratively and literally.

Share a gratitude or positive moment or experience from 2019 so far.

I’m positive that something good will happen this year. Like Trump’s impeachment, indictment, arrest, and conviction. But, hey, we’re only seven days into 2019.

Rory Does It Again

5fb252a6-1409-4622-bf90-ca23cbab1d9bRory, aka A Guy Called Bloke, was nominated for the coveted Liebster Award and paid it forward by nominating my blog for the award, along with seven other bloggers. Of course, there’s some mistake because the Liebster Award focuses on blogs with fewer than 200 followers and mine has more than 1,600. And also, my blog is an award-free blog.

Nonetheless, when Rory asks, I answer. So here goes.

If vampires can’t see their reflections, why is their hair always so neat?

It’s in their blood. Or perhaps in the blood of their latest, well-groomed victim.29A28516-F30D-4ED8-BB19-9EE1C481E9AA.jpeg

If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

No, they are just behaving inappropriately.

If they weren’t called grapes and you had the opportunity to rename them, what would you call them?

Pre-raisins.

If the grass wasn’t green what color would you make it?

Brown. That way you couldn’t tell the grass from the brown spots on my lawn.93b5ec9d-d312-430e-a334-3f6ef0dd1f79

Has your imaginary friend ever had an imaginary friend, or just you?

My imaginary friend left me for his imaginary friend. Talk about being jilted.

So, dance in the rain, wallow in the mud or naked angel in the snow?

What do you think a naked skier like me would say? I’d dance naked in a mud puddle in the rain.

Can you describe your blog to me without using the letters i and e?

A blog about ths, that, and th othr.

What are you afraid of becoming?

Irrelevant. Oh wait. Too late. Dammit.

JusJoJan — Memento

Today’s Just Jot It January prompt is the word “memento.”

ed2d3cc8-e1fb-462d-960f-74f907c14063As soon as I saw the prompt, all I could think of was the movie “Memento,” an offbeat thriller released in 2000 and directed by Christopher Nolan, who adapted the film from a short story by his brother Jonathan Nolan.

The protagonist, portrayed by Guy Pearce, is a man who is struggling to put his life back together after the brutal rape and murder of his wife. But having been savagely beaten by the same man who killed his wife, his short-term memory had been destroyed and he was no longer able to retain any new information. Thus, he had to resort to copious note-taking and Polaroid photographs in order to keep track of what happens to him over the course of a day. He even tattooed himself with a few crucial bits of information that he couldn’t get along without. The character is obsessed with taking revenge against the man who has ruined his life, and he sets out to find him, getting help from some questionable characters.

What’s most intriguing about this movie, to me, anyway, is that it progresses backwards in time. The protagonist kills the murderer of his wife in the film’s first scene, and it then moves backward from that point, in roughly five-minute increments, allowing us to see how he tracked the guy down, and then ending with what is, chronologically, the story’s beginning. It sort of blew my mind.

So for today’s Jot it January, I suggest you jot down the name of the movie — “Memento” — and see if you can stream it. I think it’s available on Amazon Prime and on YouTube.