Time to Write — It Is What It Is

ea76a696-41ae-429e-b8c4-b6c4e9d21e2b“Don’t worry about me,” Aaron said, “I’ll be fine. I can’t adequately express my gratitude to you for your gracious hospitality, but it’s time for me to go back out into the world and to pursue my electric dreams.

“Electric dreams? Really?” Barbara said. “This is your typical pattern, isn’t it? You come and stay with me for a few months after you get out of recovery. We get close, emotionally and physically, and then, out of the blue, you suddenly announce that you have to leave to go find yourself, to pursue your stupid, unrealistic fantasies. Loving you is either feast or famine, Aaron. There’s no middle ground for you.” Tears started freely flowing down Barbara’s cheeks.

“I know I’m being selfish,” Aaron said, “and I don’t expect you to wait around for me. I really do love you, Barbara. But I need to know who I am and what I’m all about before I can give my all to you.”

“And you expect me to just wait for you?” Barbara asked.

“No, of course not,” Aaron said. “But it is what it is. I hope someday you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me.”

b126b97d-b418-4d1c-8416-8b87b452b358Written for Rachel Poli’s Time To Write Sentence Starter prompt.

Also for these one-word prompts: Word of the Day Challenge (gratitude), Ragtag Daily Prompt (hospitality), Michael’s Writing Prompts (electric dreams), Nova’s Daily Random Word (pattern), Your Daily Word Prompt (recovery), and Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (forgive).

Forgive and Forget — A Recycle

My Fandango’s one-word challenge for today is “forgive.” I don’t usually do this, but I’m out and about today, so I thought I’d recycle this post that I originally posted in June 2017, shortly after I started this blog.

forgive and forgetSomeone you know — maybe someone you love — has “done you wrong.” You’re upset, angry, and hurt. What do you do? Some of your closest friends and confidants might tell you that you’re better off without that person.

Others, though, may advise you to “forgive and forget.” I cringe when I hear someone offer that advice. It’s seriously cringeworthy nonsense.

You’ve been betrayed. A trust has been broken. Is it even possible to forgive and forget?

I don’t think so. Not both.

The unfortunate truth is that you can’t change the past. Once words have been spoken, they can’t be unspoken. Once deeds have been done, they can’t be undone. All you can do is live in the present and strive for a better future. While it may be difficult, frustrating, and even painful, it’s for your own benefit to be forgiving.

Everyone make mistakes. I know I have. I’m sure you have, too. I can say that with certainty because none of us is perfect. To err is human, right? And according to Alexander Pope, to forgive is “divine.” Yet even if you understand that intellectually, to forgive is also hard as hell.

And then there’s forgetting. Forgetting is not only pretty close to impossible without undergoing a frontal lobotomy, it’s probably not even a very wise thing to do.

How can you be expected to forget one of the most painful experiences of your life? Wouldn’t that be counterproductive? If you forget something that has caused you great pain, how can you learn from that experience? How can you grow?

You may want to forget, but you can’t. It’s really hard to not be resentful, to not dwell on the betrayal, to not replay in your mind what happened and re-experience all of the negative feelings it evoked. But if that is what you do, then you haven’t really forgotten, even though you may have convinced yourself that you have.

I’m not a psychologist and I don’t play one on TV. That said, my advice, for what it’s worth, is to accept the fact that you won’t ever be able to forget the pain and the hurt. But if you wish to salvage your relationship, you need to find a way to deal with it, and that means genuinely forgiving the person who hurt you.

As painful as it was, you really do need to let it go. And if you can’t do that, you need to walk away and not look back.

And that’s what is so hard about “forgive and forget.” That’s why I cringe whenever I hear that phrase. The former is hard to do; the latter is impossible to do. As Thomas Szasz noted, a wise person won’t try to do both.

And now I ask you to forgive me for writing such a cringeworthy post. Actually, just forget I even wrote and posted it.

This post is a response to today’s one-word prompt: Cringe.

JusJoJan — Enigmatic Nipples

5e6e0c49-2995-4cfc-85e4-9fd728a59d61You know what I find enigmatic? Man boobs. Well, not so much man boobs per se, but nipples. In particular, man nipples.

Why is it that in western societies, or at least in the United States society, men can walk around in public bare chested with their nipples there for everyone and anyone to see, but women can’t.

Human nipples look pretty much the same, whether they’re on a man’s chest or a woman’s chest. So why is it that when a man’s nipples are exposed in public it’s perfectly acceptable, but when a woman’s nipples are exposed in public it is often deemed to be indecent exposure?

Do you see that picture of a bare-chested man at the top of this post. He can walk around any city or town in America without a shirt on and no one would say boo. Yet his boobs are bigger than those of most women I know.

fe251dc3-21e8-4d3a-af05-f029082f2a84And now look what happens if I show his boobs out-of-context. Oh my God! Bare breasts! A woman caught walking around exposing her bare breasts and nipples like that in Anytown, USA would probably be arrested for indecent exposure.

But those boobs and nipples are on a man’s body. So it’s okay, albeit perhaps not in good taste, for him to show up that way at the beach, at a park, sitting on his front porch, or just about anywhere.

So, can someone please solve this enigma for me? Tell me why it’s okay for a man to walk around in public without a top on and for his nipples to be visible to the, um, naked eye, so to speak, but it’s not okay for a woman?

Written for today’s Just Jot It January prompt from Linda G. Hill. Today’s jot topic is “enigmatic,” which was suggested by blogger Virgobeauty.

The [Food] Court of the Queen of Questions

Teresa, The Hidden Wordsmith and the Queen of Questions, wants to know a little about our grocery shopping habits and our dietary preferences. Well, since they say that you are what you eat, here’s everything you need to know about me.

  1. What is your favorite chocolate dessert? My wife makes this great chocolate mousse cake. It’s to die for.55a85a3c-7091-4441-b933-c2566ce47c0d

  2. Where do you go first in the grocery store? The fruits and veggies aisles. It’s the first thing you come to when you walk through the door.

  3. You win three minutes of free shopping in the grocery store with an empty cart…what do you fill it with? Groceries, duh!

  4. What is your favorite fruit and how do you like to eat it? Bananas sliced and tossed into a bowl of cold cereal.fecd43b3-e4d9-419b-955e-d085f2c1ae92

  5. You go to a magic cafe where plates fill with whatever you request…what do you get? Magic spells?

  6. How do you like your fish? Filleted and sautéed.

  7. Do you eat jello (what is your favorite flavor)? Not since Bill Cosby was arrested.414a8d43-0acf-4d07-8812-d5d1b57be3d4

  8. What is the most, ahem, “adult” food you can think of? Prunes?

  9. What food do you eat that might put you in the “old” age? Prunes?

  10. Mall food courts…yes, no, where do you eat? I can’t remember the last time I went to a mall, much less ate at a mall food court.

FOWC with Fandango — Forgive

FOWCWelcome to January 4, 2019 and to Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (aka, FOWC). It’s designed to fill the void after WordPress bailed on its daily one-word prompt.

I will be posting each day’s word just after midnight Pacific Time (US).

Today’s word is “forgive.”

Write a post using that word. It can be prose, poetry, fiction, non-fiction. It can be any length. It can be just a picture or a drawing if you want. No holds barred, so to speak.

Once you are done, tag your post with #FOWC and create a pingback to this post if you are on WordPress. Or you can simply include a link to your post in the comments.

And be sure to read the posts of other bloggers who respond to this prompt. You will marvel at their creativity.