Decisions, Decisions

E229EC97-283C-44C3-AD87-85F923CCA5B1Sam walked into the bar and saw his two best friends, Jerry and Hank, sitting at a table having a rather heated discussion. “Hey guys, what’s the brouhaha?” he asked.

“Jerry needs to make a decision and he can’t make a commitment one way or the other,” Hank said.

“I just don’t know,” Jerry said. “I feel like I’m standing at an intersection and I don’t know whether or not to go straight, turn to the right, or head left.”

“Maybe you should pause for a few minutes. Try making an outline listing all the pros and cons of each option,” Sam suggested.

“That seems like a lot of effort,” Jerry complained.

Sam gave Hank a questioning look. “What is this big decision he’s trying to make?” he asked.

Hank shook his head. “It’s really no biggie,” he said. “Jerry’s trying to decide if we should go back to his place and play Fortnite or Call of Duty.”

Written for these one-word prompts: Your Daily Word Prompt (brouhaha), Word of the Day Challenge (commitment), Fandango’s One-Word Challenge (intersection), Nova’s Daily Random Word (pause), Scotts Daily Prompt (outline), and Ragtag Daily Prompt (play).

Weekend Writing Prompt — The Legend

D418BC10-533D-48B4-BCCC-DF74FAB03004He draws the biggest crowds. He surrounds himself with the best people. He knows the best words. Only he can fix what ails us.

He could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and still not lose a single supporter. He is loved by everyone, especially despots, dictators, and autocrats around the world. And he loves them back. He is the smarted, the richest, the greatest president that ever lived.

He’s a stable genius. He’s very intelligent. He has the best brain. Women love him. Blacks love him. Nazis love him. He knows more than the generals. He has the best gut. He’s always honest and fully transparent. No collusion; no obstruction.

He’s a legend in his own mind.

(Exactly 120 words)

0BE2884E-7B59-4CF7-9FF5-2A520D46C463Written for Sammi Cox’s Weekend Writing Prompt, where we are challenged to write a poem or piece of prose using the word “legend” in exactly 120 words.

Chatty Q&A?

0E949CFA-EB8D-4B2C-8DB8-851E4E1FFA39So Rory, A Guy Called Bloke, tagged me for this “Come Chat With Me” thing. The rules are:

  1. Answer the questions you receive (straight, funny, absurd, up to you)
  2. Create three questions of your own for those that you tag to answer
  3. Tag three people

So what does Rory do? He asks three truly absurd questions. Thanks a lot, Rory.

Hurly Burly or Wally Bolly and why?

I don’t know. How about Hurdy Gurdy and Woolly Bully?

Blue underpants with green socks or pink boxers with yellow sandals?

How about no underpants and no socks or sandals?

If the letter A wsn’t in our lphabet wht would you plce in its plce or in other words?

Reminds me of this:

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. 

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”. 

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. 

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. 

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. 

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. 

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. 

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. 

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. 

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Now I have to ask three questions:

  1. If you could have been born in any country other than the one in which you were born, which country and why?
  2. If you could go back in time and change any important life decision of your choice, what would it be and why?
  3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Now I’m supposed to tag three other bloggers, but instead I’m going to tag any other bloggers who want to come chat with me.

30-Day Song Challenge — Cover

I am a big Beatles fan and yet I have to give a lot of credit to Joe Cocker. When it comes to “a song that’s a cover by another artist,” Cocker was, in my opinion, the only performer who could successfully cover, and possibly even improve upon, originals songs by The Beatles.

Probably his most widely recognized cover is “With a Little Help From My Friends,” and that, indeed, is a great cover. But my personal favorite is Cocker’s cover of “She Came in Through the Bathroom Window.”

Here are both. You decide.

SoCS — A Hairy Problem

B108F097-1E42-497E-BFE0-E9AA1242445EThis week Linda G. Hill challenged us, in her Stream of Consciousness Saturday prompt, to use “hairy” in our posts.

Alrighty then. It’s time to tell you something about me that you might not already know. I’ve got a hairy problem. And by “hairy,” I don’t mean alarming, difficult, risky, or perilous. And by “problem,” I don’t mean an unpleasant challenge that must be dealt with.

My hairy problem has to do with body hair, as in too much on some parts of my body and not enough on others. My legs and arms are not particularly hairy. And while I have a mustache and beard, the top of my head is not hairy at all. Well, as they say, grass doesn’t grow on a busy street.

But what is hairy are my back, my shoulders, my chest, and my, well, nether region. For the longest time I thought all that hair was a sign of my great masculinity and I was proud of it. But then I heard about “manscaping,” and as I wrote in THIS POST, I learned that “nobody likes a hairy back and shoulders.” Yes, it’s true. A lot of people apparently find that men with hairy backs and shoulders are gross or perhaps a bit too Neanderthal.

Fortunately for me, though, my manfur doesn’t seem to bother my wife at all. And I’ve reached the age where I couldn’t give a crap what other people think.

In other words, I am dealing quite well with my hairy problem, thank you very much. (And before you ask, no, that’s not my back in the picture at the top of this post.)