Larry walked up to Doug’s office and handed him a poster. “We’re having a new motivational program, Doug. And I’ve got some good news to share with you.”
Doug took the poster and tossed it into the trash can. “Doing your best? Seriously? What is that, another stupid slogan for Melania Trump to promote?” Doug said.“Management just wants people to do the best work they can,” Larry said. “Don’t you always try to do your best?”
“Come on, man,” Doug said. “Doing your best takes way too much effort and is highly overrated. I remember about ten years back, you know, when I was young and naive. I really worked hard and did my very best work. I was burning the midnight oil, working weekends, not taking my earned vacation days. I was dotting all the i’s and crossing all the t’s. And then, my friend, it came time for my performance review and I got ‘meets expectations’ and a two percent salary increase.” Doug paused and took a deep breath.
“So I said to myself, ‘fuck this shit.’ That next year I left the office every day at 5 pm. I didn’t take any work home with me, didn’t work on weekends, took all of my vacation days, and did the bare minimum it took to get the job done. And do you know what happened, Larry?”
Larry shrugged his shoulders.
“I’ll tell you what happened, Larry,” Doug said. “Come time for that year’s performance review, I got ‘exceeds expectations’ and a four percent raise.”
“No shit,” said Larry.
“Damn straight, Larry,” Doug said. “So forget all this ‘doing your best’ and ‘be best’ bullshit. My advice for you, Larry, is to keep your head down and do just enough to get by.”
“Interesting,” Larry said. “Oh, I almost forget. You know that good news I mentioned? Well, I just got a promotion. Turns out that I’m your new boss.”
Written for this week’s Mindlovemisery’s Menagerie Tale Weaver prompt, where we are asked to “explore the notion of doing your best.”