Anyone for Crumpets?

A274AD39-AD18-4BB0-BF65-AF398B6977AD“Allow me to introduce you to my friend Fandango,” Jim said to Teresa.

“Fandangle? That’s an odd name,” Teresa said. “Are you as useless and ornamental as your name implies?”

“No, my name is not Fandangle, it’s Fandango.” I said.

“You mean like the Spanish dance?” She asked.

“Yes,” I said. “And like the online movie ticket buying site. But that’s not what I was named for.”

“What were you named for, then?”she asked.

“It comes from a line in the Queen song, “Bohemian Rhapsody,” I answered. “My parents were huge Queen fans.”

“That’s just weird,” she said. “So what’s your deal, Fandangle?”

“Well, I’m a big fan of crumpets,” I said. “Have you ever had a crumpet? It’s like an English muffin, only better.”

“Mmm, doesn’t that sound good?” said Jim, trying his best to salvage this awkward situation. “I am having quite an appetency for crumpets, aren’t you?”

Teresa looked at her watch and said, “Oh my, will you look at the time.” Then, looking at Jim and Fandango, she said, “Nice to have met you, Fandangle.”

And then she abruptly turned around and started walking away.

“It’s Fandango, dammit!” I shouted as she was leaving.

Written for today’s Three Things Challenge from Teresa. The things are appetency (a longing or desire), crumpet (a person’s head), and fandangle (a useless or purely ornamental thing).

FWIW, I thought a “crumpet” was a small griddle cake made from an unsweetened batter of water or milk, flour and yeast. And that — not as a person’s head — is how I used that thing in this post.

22 thoughts on “Anyone for Crumpets?

  1. Embeecee June 28, 2018 / 12:37 pm

    Today’s three word challenge sounds intriguing and I’m going to go horn in. BTW: “Crumpet” is also an archaic England English word for ‘pussy’ (not a cat, but that other thing that Americans have made smutty. Deliberately.).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango June 28, 2018 / 1:13 pm

      Oh my. Don’t tell Trump or he’ll start grabbing women by their crumpets! 😱


    • Fandango June 28, 2018 / 1:14 pm

      I’ve actually never tasted a crumpet. But you know — Flash FICTION.


  2. Osyth June 28, 2018 / 1:02 pm

    I used to work for Queen. I was their Personal Assistant in the early eighties. And I love crumpets. To the point of obsession and making myself sick on them, love crumpets. Hello Fandango – very pleased to meet you 😊

    Liked by 2 people

      • Osyth June 28, 2018 / 1:21 pm

        Do you know, at the time I was as arrogant as I was young. Now I realise, How immense was the privilege. Then I just enjoyed the ride. I have tales. The dilemma is whether to tell them (and nothing would ever compromise the four that made up the band because that would be rude and rather facile) or whether to just sit on my hands … they itch 😉

        Liked by 1 person

        • Fandango June 28, 2018 / 2:11 pm

          Oh what great blog posts your stories would make! Or maybe a [discreet] tell-all book?

          Liked by 1 person

          • Osyth June 28, 2018 / 2:36 pm

            It’s tempting. I watched Spinal Tap again recently and though hmmmm … I could do something contemporary around that and not be sued 😉

            Liked by 1 person

  3. The Haunted Wordsmith June 28, 2018 / 1:12 pm

    Lol…When I finish this story about the house from yesterday, I am really going to have to look up how we went from being a person’s head to being a food.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The Haunted Wordsmith June 28, 2018 / 2:40 pm

    The most I can find is that all three definitions have been in use since the 30s. Before that, it was just the food (since the 1600s) and a person’s head…now something interesting though is that some used crumpet for the food because it looks like a bald person’s head (go figure that one). Something really funny is that your post appears on page 1 of Google for the search “a person’s head is a crumpet” and there are 1,260,000 results….WAY TO GO!….lol

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sight11 June 28, 2018 / 5:08 pm

    So you met Jim’s girlfriend. Where’s my invitation goddammit?Jim you better invite me too, not only Sensei.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. lifelessons June 28, 2018 / 9:40 pm

    Yum. Love crumpets. Now I want one. Want two. With butter and jam. Or clotted cream and jam.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. leigha66 June 30, 2018 / 4:39 pm

    I always thought it was food to have with tea… I have learned something new. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango June 30, 2018 / 10:23 pm

      I think food to have with tea is probably the most common definition.

      Liked by 1 person

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