Literally Speaking

 

Homer_D'OH!“I can’t begin to tell you how you hurt my feelings when you did what you did,” Stephanie said. “You literally cut me to the core.”

“No, Stephanie. I didn’t ‘literally’ cut you to the core,” Alex said. “You’re not using that word correctly. What you mean is that I figuratively cut you to the core. If I had literally cut you to the core, you’d be dead.”

“Oh shut up, Alex,” Stephanie said. “After what you did to me, I could care less what you think.”

“Actually, Stephanie, you couldn’t care less. If you could care less,” Alex explained, “it means that you actually have a bit of caring left.”

“For crissake, Alex, stop it.” Stephanie looked around the coffee shop and saw that a few people were staring at them. “Can we go someplace where there are less people?” she asked.

“No,” Alex answered. “But we can go someplace where there are fewer people.”

Stephanie stood up, looked down at Alex, and said, “Did you ever wonder why so many people think you’re an asshole, Alex? And I mean that literally.


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “core.”

13 thoughts on “Literally Speaking

  1. Marilyn Armstrong May 13, 2018 / 9:30 am

    Ah the joys of being the permanent online editor. I whisper at the TV … except about “less” and “fewer.” THAT one is a shout out.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango May 13, 2018 / 10:19 am

      I especially like the signs at the grocery store checkout that say, “12 items or less.” Aarrgh!

      Like

  2. newepicauthor May 13, 2018 / 9:54 am

    If Alex was right all the time, shouldn’t he have found the cure for cancer by now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango May 13, 2018 / 3:18 pm

      Can never have too many grammar nazis.

      Like

  3. rogershipp May 14, 2018 / 10:49 pm

    Loved it. I have a fellow English teacher just like that… Literally!

    Like

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