M is for Masturbate

They say that four out of five men admit to masturbating. And the fifth is a liar.

Actually, that old joke is not far from the truth. Research has found that among U.S. adolescents aged 14–17, around 74% of males and 48% of females masturbate.

Among older adults, roughly 63% of men and 32% of women between 57 and 64 years of age masturbate.

Masturbation, as you no doubt know, is when an individual stimulates his or her genitals for sexual pleasure, which may or may not lead to orgasm. It’s a normal and healthy sexual activity with no adverse side effects.

Back in Victorian times, masturbation was called “onanism, named for the biblical character Onan. God, so the Bible says, took the life of Onan when he “wasted his seed on the ground” in order not to give offspring to his brother. Apparently that really pissed God off, and he smote the filthy seed-waster. Hey, even for God, imposing the death penalty for masturbation seems a bit harsh, don’t you think?

Masturbation was also referred to back then as “self-pollution” and it was thought to drain your energy and make you sick. There were even some really bizarre anti-masturbatory devices for both men and women.

3BEAC20E-986C-42E1-B2C7-4BDAACA49B7FMany religions frown on masturbation. In fact, until the 19th century, the Catholic Church believed that sperm were “little homunculi, miniature people,” and for that reason, male masturbation was sometimes called homicide. I swear I am not making that up.

We’ve come a long way since the 19th century, right?

Well, maybe not. And that’s why I chose to write about masturbation for today’s A to Z Challenge.

A proposed bill in Texas that would impose a fine for male masturbation is making its way through the state’s legislature.

Texas House Bill 4260, called the “Man’s Right to Know Act,” would punish male masturbation with a $100 fine, and require men who want Viagra to be subject to a rectal exam.

The bill calls “masturbatory emissions” an “act against an unborn child, and failing to preserve the sanctity of life.”

Filed earlier this year by Texas Democratic legislator Jessica Farrar, the bill was referred to the House State Affairs Committee last week.

By focusing on male masturbation, the proposed legislation is an obvious attempt to satirize and to draw attention to the unreasonable and dangerous policy proposals concerning women’s reproductive freedom coming from the Republican Party.

Farrar, a vocal abortion rights activist with a long record of opposing legislation in Texas hostile to women’s reproductive freedom, said, “A lot of people find the bill funny. What’s not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day that were placed there by male legislators, making it very difficult for women to access healthcare.”

I am fairly confident that those male legislators in the Texas State House are less inclined to pass such a bill than they have been to pass bills that restrict women’s sexual freedoms. But in today’s Trump America, you never can be certain.

And with that, I’m going to end this post with one piece of advice: go ahead and give yourself a hand.

23 thoughts on “M is for Masturbate

  1. odell01 April 14, 2018 / 6:15 am

    Many man make the effort to save their energy for the reason of remaining available.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Karyn April 14, 2018 / 7:17 am

    “…an obvious attempt to satirize…”
    It isn’t actually obvious since the US, and Texas in particular, is submerged in CrazyLand.
    Nice ‘touch’

    Liked by 3 people

  3. newepicauthor April 14, 2018 / 9:51 am

    I don’t think that the government is pouring enough funding for research into this topic.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. She April 14, 2018 / 11:57 am

    I never knew any of this. Anti-masturbating devices, whaaaat! I read that it is healthier, especially for men, to masturbate regularly and can actually prevent illness and lessen stress.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango April 14, 2018 / 12:41 pm

      No wonder I’m so healthy and stress-free! 😱


      • She April 14, 2018 / 12:48 pm

        😂🤣😂😆 awesome!!! Good for you. Stay healthy 😊


    • Fandango April 14, 2018 / 1:09 pm

      It’s real and it’s meant to call attention to the crazy laws that the Republicans in Texas (and elsewhere in the U.S.) have been passing in an effort to control women’s healthcare and reproductive rights.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. baddadcartoons101 April 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    This reminds me of Father Guido Sarducci’s skit on “when you die” look it up on, it’s really funny!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango April 14, 2018 / 2:47 pm

      Looking for that Father Guido Sarducci skit, but can’t find it. Got a link.


      • baddadcartoons101 April 15, 2018 / 12:06 am

        Sorry it was hard to find, the SNL link no longer loads but goto U tube and search father guido sarducci live at St Douglas convent and that part of his routine starts at about 18:30 into the video where he starts talking about life is a job.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Archon's Den April 14, 2018 / 8:21 pm

    I believe that, if you read the Onan Bible passage, you will find that he had sex with his brother’s wife, but pulled out before climaxing, ‘spilling his seed’. This makes Onanism ‘coitus interruptus ,’ not masturbation. Still funny. 😆

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Michael April 15, 2018 / 12:03 am

    This isn’t serious surely? Good god…

    I know who the real wankers are here that’s for sure

    Liked by 1 person

  8. leigha66 April 16, 2018 / 3:01 pm

    Sad that this is a priority in government… interesting post though.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango April 16, 2018 / 4:29 pm

      It’s interesting how conservatives/Republicans oppose the government sticking its nose into people’s personal business except when it comes to personal sexual matters and/or orientation.

      Liked by 1 person

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