Butch

D6412E13-9A86-4B52-BB14-C573C2BFF151When I was a very young boy, my father gave me a nickname. He called me “Butch.” It was wishful thinking on his part.

Back when he started calling me Butch, the name didn’t have the same connotation it has today. Back then it meant manly and masculine.

But the meaning of the word has evolved considerably over time. These days, according to the Urban Dictionary, Butch means an especially masculine lesbian who is often the dominant partner in a lesbian relationship.

While I know my father didn’t think of me as a masculine, dominant lesbian, I think he was a bit disappointed that I wasn’t more manly. I was the nerdy, studious type of kid, more likely to be on the debate team than on the football team. I was not very coordinated. I was skinny, wore glasses, had braces on my teeth, and pimples on my face. I was more of a Sheldon than a Butch, which also meant that I was more likely to be beaten up than to beat up another.

I even think there was a time when my father worried that I was gay. I wasn’t, but I have no doubt that it had crossed his mind.

Eventually my father stopped calling me Butch. In fact, I think he even stopped calling me by my given name, as well. He basically just stopped speaking to me at all.

11 thoughts on “Butch

  1. Karyn March 30, 2018 / 7:29 am

    There are so many stories/people who didn’t live up to their parents “expectations”; since when are individuals born of parents/people supposed to fulfill the personal desires of said parents? It’s such a self-serving delusion that children are the “hopes and dreams” of their parents versus people with their own hopes and dreams (and personalities).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango March 30, 2018 / 7:41 am

      Parents often live vicariously through their children. It’s not unusual for parents to have high hopes for their children, but if the kids don’t meet their parents’ expectations, their parents’ love should be unconditional.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Sight11 March 31, 2018 / 3:24 am

    Well it could be a culture thing. I know the feeling Sensei.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. leigha66 March 31, 2018 / 12:25 pm

    Such a sad thing when a parent turns their back on a child… the day I became a parent was such a wonderful day for me. I could never imagine not speaking to my daughter – she is my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango March 31, 2018 / 12:48 pm

      I think most parents are like you, but some have certain expectations of their children and if those expectations are not met….

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Millennial Gay April 8, 2018 / 11:47 pm

    My dad and I tried a new sport nearly every year. He was hoping I’d find one and become more like a regular boy. Never happened though 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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