Taking Years Off Of Your Life

Image result for enroll now“An exclusive invitation for Emanuel Kindersen,” the ornately printed words on the outside of the envelope read.

Manny didn’t receive much in the way of interesting mail these days, so the beauty of the elegant envelope, along with what appeared to be the hand-written calligraphy on the outside, drew his attention.

What little mail Manny did get was mostly junk mail and most of that ended up unopened and tossed directly into the recycle bin. But this envelope was different. After spending a few moments admiring it, Manny finally opened the envelope, his curiosity getting the best of him.

“Dear Mr. Kindersen,” the seemingly hand written letter started out. “You have been selected to participate in a truly unique, groundbreaking experience that will change your life. Participation in our program will reinvigorate you and allow you to recapture the vitality of your youth, physically, intellectually, and emotionally. It will take years off of your life.”

Manny was intrigued by what he’d read so far. The letter continued. “We are offering you, Mr. Kindersen, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity — at no cost to you — to enroll in our unique program. Please call the toll-free number below to take advantage of this one-time enrollment opportunity.”

Manny couldn’t resist. He called the number and was instructed to go to a certain address at 8 a.m. the next morning. When he showed up, the lettering on the office suite door read “Youth Recapture Institute.”

When he walked through the door, Manny was greeted by a beautiful, young receptionist. “Ah, Mr. Kindersen,” she said, “We’re so glad you made it. I’m Kendra,” she stood up and reached out to shake Manny’s hand. “Would you believe that I’m 62 years old?”

“No way,” Manny said. “You look like you’re in your twenties.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kendrick,” she said, blushing slightly. “But I’ve experienced what you’re about to experience. I’ve gone from a gray-haired, frail old lady to a youthful 22 year-old. And you, too, will take years off of your life in so many ways with our treatment. Have a seat. The doctor will be with you shortly.”

Manny was very excited. He had just turned 70 and was resigned to living out his old age alone and in quiet comfort. But the thought of being able to look and feel like a young man again was compelling.

A few minutes later a man wearing a white lab coat walked into the lobby. “Mr. Kindersen,” the man said, “I’m Dr. Leventhal. I’ve been practicing medicine for nearly five decades and I’ve never before seen a wonder drug like this one. It truly is miraculous.”

“You don’t even look old enough to have graduated from college,” Manny marveled. “What happens next?” he asked.

“Follow me,” Dr. Leventhal said. Manny followed him into a small medical office. “Now if you’ll sit on that table, we’ll get started.” The doctor opened a drawer and pulled out a syringe. He inserted the needle end into a small vial, filling up the syringe with the blue liquid.

“What’s that?” Manny asked.

“This, my friend, is the fountain of youth,” Dr. Leventhal said. “I will get the process started and, before you know it, it will all be over. This injection will literally take years off of your life.”

“Let’s do it,” Manny said, enthusiastically.

The doctor gave Manny the injection and within a few seconds, Manny keeled over onto the table. He was dead. The doctor pressed a button on the desk and two burley young men walked into the room and gathered up Manny’s body.

“Another old codger eliminated,” the doctor said to one of the men. “These old farts are incredibly gullible. We are going to save society so much money in health care costs by taking years off of the lives of these old abusers of the health system. TrumpCare is a total success.”

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “enroll.”

7 thoughts on “Taking Years Off Of Your Life

  1. Jessie February 7, 2018 / 10:06 am

    Horrifyingly well done.


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