Happy Wife, Happy Life

11495244-5A40-403E-B88C-7B8F8EE0E3F8Back in the day, my wife and I bought a 120-year-old Victorian house because, well, we were stupid. It was after buying that house that I first learned what the word “patina” meant.

It was a beautiful Queen Anne Victorian, complete with a large, wraparound front/side porch, a turret, curved glass windows around the turret, and several stunning stained glass windows. Years earlier, this majestic home had been broken up into three apartment units and the guy who last purchased it was in the middle of converting it back to a single-family home when he ran out of money. So he put it on the market.

My wife always loved the classic look of Victorian homes, and when she saw that one was for sale, she had to have it. I knew it was going to be a money pit, but you know — “happy wife, happy life.” We got a great deal on it because of the seller’s financial difficulties.

Unfortunately, in restoring the house back to a single-family home, the owner decided to do it on the cheap. He installed basic Home Depot light fixtures throughout, painted all of the magnificent original woodwork, and essentially remove all of the house’s Victorian character and charm.

Long story short, it took us two years and almost double what we originally paid for the house to restore it to the beautiful Queen Anne Victorian it had been in it’s heyday, both inside and out.

So, back to patina. My wife wanted to replace all of the cheap Home Depot light fixtures the previous owner has installed with “Victorian era” lights. We didn’t have the budget to purchase new, Victorian reproduction lights, so I spent a lot of time on eBay looking for electrified Victorian light fixtures.

I actually found quite a few for sale. Most of the eBay listings described the light fixtures as having “original patina.” I asked my wife if she knew what that meant and, always the teacher, she explained to me that patina is a thin, usually green layer that forms on copper and bronze when exposed to the air for a long time. “All you need to do it polish them a little before you hang them.”

But I learned what the word “patina” actually meant after opening a few of the boxes in which these “original patina” light fixtures were shipped. It means “covered with dirt, grease, and grime and shipped in a box that often contains mouse or rat droppings and dead bugs.”

The good news, though, is that I taught myself how to completely rewire non-working, electrified Victorian era light fixtures.

19 thoughts on “Happy Wife, Happy Life

  1. susurrus December 4, 2017 / 9:49 am

    You made me smile – patina often is a euphemism.


  2. Bobby Fairfield December 4, 2017 / 9:56 am

    Hopefully somewhat tongue in cheek about the patina but love the thought of going back to Victorian glory, to be truly authentic have you got the man or woman of all work to look after you for a pittance?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. rugby843 December 4, 2017 / 10:47 am

    You had me at the first sentence, saying “my wife” instead of the now seemingly popular😱 “the” wife. I can tell your respect and love for her just reading this. I love the fact you added humor as it does seem a daunting task. But pictures? Can we see pics? Sounds lovely.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Jake December 4, 2017 / 11:35 am

    This is maybe my favorite interpretation of the prompt. Thanks for sharing, Fandango. You always brighten my day.


    • Fandango December 4, 2017 / 12:52 pm

      Well, they did clean up nicely and once I figured out how to rewire them, they weren’t too bad.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Marilyn Armstrong December 4, 2017 / 7:54 pm

    Patina can also mean rusty and rotting. You were lucky if you can at least restore the pieces. Restoring a Victorian house is the ultimate “money pit” project. I love them. I would never buy one. They are HUGE and by the time you get to our age … well … we barely use the 6 rooms we’ve got up here, much less the other four in the basement. Good luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango December 4, 2017 / 9:45 pm

      That house was sold around a decade ago. We now live in a much smaller, more manageable place.


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