The New World


“May God have mercy on his soul,” the minister said just before they injected the fatal cocktail into the man’s arm.

“He has no soul,” an angry woman said loudly to the others who were witnessing the execution.

“If there really was a god,” another said, “how could he have allowed someone to commit such a heinous crime?”

“There are bad people out there,” said yet another observer.

“I can’t stand it,” said a sobbing woman from the back of the observation room. “My son wasn’t a bad man.”

“Well,” said the man sitting beside her, “he should have known better. It’s no longer permissible to criticize the president. And what he posted in his blog was pretty strong.”

“He was just a foolish blogger,” she said.

“The Ministry of Information has super computers that use artificial intelligence to scan every blog post or news article posted. They’re looking for anything that in any way might be viewed as derogatory about the president,” the man explained. “Those journalists and bloggers who get tagged are rounded up and imprisoned…or worse.”

The woman began sobbing even harder. “Who would have thought back in 2016 that openly criticizing the President of the United States would be punishable by lethal injection?”

“It’s a whole new world out there,” the man said.

Written for today’s one-word prompt, “mercy.”

#100WW — Litterbugs

26D80028-5B7E-44FF-8F71-7563F0762FF9“Thank God for the literate,” the mouse said.

“The literate?” the other mouse questioned. “You know we can’t read.”

“Literate humans are those who litter,” the first mouse responded. “Were it not for the literate, we might starve to death.”

“I think you mean litterbugs,” she said.

“Whatever!” declared the first mouse. “Time to feast on whatever’s in that cup.”

“Be careful,” the second mouse said. “It might be a trap.”

“Stop being paranoid,” the first mouse said, and ran over to the cup.

The garbage truck pulled up to the curb and crushed both the cup and the mouse.

(100 words)

Written for today’s 100 Word Wednesday prompt from Bikurgurl. Photo credit: Mert Guller.

One-Liner Wednesday — Fruit Flies

“Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.”

This one-liner is another example of the genius of Groucho Marx, one of wittiest men who ever lived, in my humble opinion.

And speaking about fruit flies, my wife and I recently took off for a romantic, three-day getaway. When we got back to our house, we encountered two terribly rotten, black, mushy bananas on our kitchen counter. And they were covered with tiny little fruit flies. Gross!

Naturally, we tossed out the rotten, black bananas, but we were left with having to deal with a horde of annoying fruit flies.

Where did these things come from? We’ve never had a fruit fly problem in our house. Did they just spontaneously generate themselves in our absence?

Being the resourceful person that I am, I Googled, “Where do fruit flies come from?” One site actually mentioned spontaneous generation. It said:

“When it comes to fruit flies in your home, the idea of spontaneous generation seems to be in play. Fruit flies seem to magically appear around fruit and other foods quickly and without fail in an otherwise insect-free kitchen. Of course, modern science has proven that spontaneous generation is impossible. So the question remains; where do fruit flies come from?”

Modern science? Yeah, right. Another myth of modern science, like climate change or evolution.

There is no doubt in my mind that these pesky fruit flies generated themselves right from within those rotting bananas.

Even the great ancient Greek philosophers recognized the validity of spontaneous generation. In his “History of Animals,” Aristotle wrote of fruit flies, “Some spring from parent animals…while others grow spontaneously…from putrefying earth or vegetable matter….”

Exactly! Just like fruit flies from rotten bananas!

Okay, regardless of their origin, be it spontaneous generation or something more consistent with the theories of “modern science,” like hitching a ride to my kitchen in a grocery bag, the task at hand was to eradicate them. So I once again turned to Google and typed “How to get rid of fruit flies.” I was amazed to find well over 100,000 entries.

Most sites suggested either constructing a homemade fruit fly trap of some sort or heading to your local hardware store and picking up a commercially available fruit fly trap. Who knew that there was such a thing as a commercially available fruit fly trap? And yet there are. Good old American ingenuity. Wouldn’t you know that no matter what the problem, someone has come up with a way to make a buck addressing it?

Anyway, long story short, I decided to have a contest to see which approach, a homemade solution or one of those “commercially available fruit fly traps,” could rid my kitchen of fruit flies better.

My homemade trap consisted of a small bowl into which I put a rotting nectarine, a half a banana, and a touch of vinegar. Then I tightly stretched Saran Wrap over the bowl and poked about half a dozen holes in the Saran Wrap with a toothpick.

I also hung the fruit fly trap I bought at the hardware store on the other side of the counter.

The next day I checked the results. There were two dead fruit flies stuck to the hardware store trap. But there were more than a dozen of those little buggers beneath the Saran Wrap cover of the bowl.

Yes, America, we have a clear winner.

Feel free to print this post should your kitchen ever experience fruit fly spontaneous generation.

You’re welcome.

This was written for today’s One-Liner Wednesday prompt from Linda G. Hill.

How’s this for a one-liner?