Nicknames

Frank was walking the new hire, Hal, around the “bullpen,” which is what the large room with dozens of small cubicles that housed the coders was called. Frank pointed to a cubicle. “This is your home away from home, Newbee. Put your stuff down here and I’ll show you around your neighborhood.”

Hal followed Frank around the cubicles surrounding his assigned cubicle. “That’s ‘Stealth’ over there,” Frank said, pointing to a guy in the cubicle next to Hal’s. “We call him ‘Stealth’ because you never see or hear him coming and suddenly he is standing right behind you in your cubicle.”

Frank then called Hal’s attention to another cubicle. “That guy is ‘Stinky,'” Frank said. “He has a serious flatulence problem. You’ll want to avoid hanging out in his cube.” They walked to another cubicle where Frank pointed out a girl who he told Hal was called ‘Minty.’

“Why ‘Minty’?” Hal asked.

“You’ll need to have a roll of mints every time you have to talk to her. Make sure to ask her if she wants one. Otherwise, her bad breath will knock you over.”

“And we call her ‘Pigeon,'” Frank said, pointing to a rather matronly-looking older woman.

“Pigeon?” Hal said.

“Yeah,” Frank elaborated. “When she walks, she struts like a pigeon, her head bobbing back and forth while her big butt bounces behind her.”

“Do you have denigrating nicknames for everyone around here?” Hal asked.

“For most of them, yeah,” responded Frank. Hal wondered what nickname Frank would give him.

A little later that day, Hal was startled to find ‘Stealth’ standing behind him in his cubicle. “Oh hi,” Hal said. “Can I ask you a question? Frank seems to have nicknames for everyone who works here.”

“Yeah,” responded Stealth. “It’s really annoying.”

“Does Frank have a nickname?”

Stealth smiled, leaned in toward Hal and whispered, “Yeah. It’s ‘Asshole.'”


Written for today’s one-word prompt, “strut.”

3 thoughts on “Nicknames

    • Fandango November 10, 2017 / 11:08 am

      Yes, it has withstood the test of time, especially now that there’s one in the White House.

      Like

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