You may find this hard to believe, but men and women are different, and not just in a superficial way. They think, feel, and behave differently. Men are relatively simple, straightforward beings. Women are complex, complicated organisms.
If you are a woman, here are a few hints that may help you to understand, relate to, and deal with us guys. If you are a man, feel free to add your own insights.
Are you ready?
Men are not mind readers. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
Ask directly for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work.
Strong hints to not work.
Obvious hints do not work.
Just say it.
“Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant it the other way.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Christopher Columbus did not need to ask for directions, and neither do we.
Most men see only primary colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question that you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer that you don’t want to hear.
When we have to go out somewhere, anything you wear is fine. Really.
Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports.
You have enough clothes; you have too many shoes.
And finally, crying is not playing fair.
Written for today’s one-word prompt, “superficial.”
(Note: I had to republish this because, for some inexplicable reason, the first time it somehow disappeared.)