A Man of Mystery


What, exactly, is a man of mystery?

I’ve heard that, for many women, a man with an air of mystery is quite alluring. They find him fascinating. They are intrigued, and perhaps even a little excited, by a man who seems to have something dark and hidden within him.

Something mysterious is lurking just below the surface. Maybe even something a little dangerous. Something remarkably magnetic.

If you’re truly a man of mystery, women are challenged to figure out who you really are. Why are you so secretive, so aloof? What are you hiding? What deep, dark secrets are lurking within you?

Their curiosity piqued, they can’t help but gravitate toward you. They think about you, wonder about you. They find you hard to predict. They don’t know or understand your motivations. They can’t figure out what you’ll say or do next.

And it drives them nuts. Which makes you virtually irresistible to them. You become a real chick magnet.

I have never been mysterious, much less a chick magnet. I’m a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of a guy. I’m not hesitant to say what I think or to be open and forthcoming about who I am, including the good, the bad, and the occasionally indifferent.

But I was curious — you know, just for my own edification — how a man can achieve that mysterious air.

I tried to find an explanation, or at least a good description, of what it is that gives a man an air of mystery. I couldn’t find anything formal, but I did come across one rather amusing description containing nine steps a man should follow if he wishes to be a man of mystery.

  1. Wear sunglasses at all times, even at night.
  2. Wear a trench coat, preferably with the collar turned up.
  3. Carry dry ice around in your car so that whenever the situation presents itself you can appear out of a thick mist.
  4. Call your voicemail and mutter secretively about “the deal going down” and “Code Red.”
  5. Whenever you leave, say you’ve got to meet your “connection” and walk off in a random direction.
  6. If your name is spoken out loud in a public place, grab the offender and say, urgently, “Shhh, not here!”
  7. Instead of having your friends pick you up at your place, make them get you at the airport or bus station.
  8. Be sure to look around frequently, as if you may be being followed.
  9. Every few hours, shake your head and say, “Crazy life, man, crazy life.”

Okay, so based upon these simple-to-follow steps, all I have to do to cloak myself with an air of mystery and to become a chick magnet is to dress the part and act really strange and paranoid.

I think I’ll pass.

This post was in response to today’s WordPress Daily Prompt: Magnet.

13 thoughts on “A Man of Mystery

  1. D. A. M. Steelman June 29, 2017 / 7:28 am

    This was great… I literally loled at #3… I have known some unusual people and I’m surprised they never thought to do this! Thanks for posting today.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Emilio Pasquale June 29, 2017 / 7:48 am

    Well, unlike you, I’ve only mastered the strange part. I’m working on paranoid. I got as far as defensive but that didn’t work. 😎

    Liked by 2 people

    • Fandango June 29, 2017 / 8:23 am

      My days of attempting to be a man of mystery ended at step 1. I kept on bumping into things while wearing sunglasses at night. But you know, crazy life, man, crazy life.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. gracious, lil scapegoat June 29, 2017 / 9:08 am

    10. Don’t hit on the hottest chick in the bar without even getting her name first. 11. Sports and cars aren’t all you talk about. 12. Keep yout ring finger in your pocket.

    Yeah, I used to be the wingman.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango June 29, 2017 / 9:15 am

      All good advice. However, I can’t figure out how to remove my ring finger in order to keep it in my pocket without disfiguring my hand! 😉


      • gracious, lil scapegoat June 29, 2017 / 9:21 am

        Aha! I see your problem. Maybe I could super glue a back pocket onto the back of your hand. I also used to steal back pockets.

        Liked by 2 people

        • Fandango June 29, 2017 / 10:11 am

          No doubt having a back pocket super glued to my hand would qualify me as a man of mystery.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. gracious, lil scapegoat June 29, 2017 / 10:26 am

    lol, had not thought of that

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fandango June 29, 2017 / 6:02 pm

      Thanks. Yes, a dry ice fog definitely sets the mood for mystery.


  5. Sight11 July 8, 2017 / 8:20 pm

    Me too who does these stupid shenanigans anyway


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